Classic Cartoon Showcase: Christopher Crumpet and Christopher Crumpet's Playmate

This amusing classic from the creators of Mr. Magoo and Gerald McBoing Boing introduces us to a bratty little boy named Christopher Crumpet who has the odd habit of turning into a chicken whenever he's angry. Christopher's dad places a wager with his boss to see Christopher do this amazing feat, but when the time comes, will Christopher comply? Please enjoy!

Then, in the sequel, Christopher stirs up even more trouble with his not-so-imaginary elephant friend Webster. His dad then makes another wager with his boss to see the elephant, but Webster turns out to be quite the slippery little fella! Please enjoy!

You can see it here!

Funny Poem Showcase: Little Jimmy by Frank Jacobs

Okay, well...

Joke of the Week #99

A lady walking down the street notices a little boy struggling to reach a high doorbell at a nearby house. "Here, son," she says kindly as she traipses up to him. "I'll help you." She gives the little boy a gentle boost, upon which he rings the doorbell with ease.

"Thanks, miss." The boy replies. "Now, run like crazy!"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #86

Mom: "How did your first soccer game go, dear?"

Betty: "It went very well, Mom, but the other girls really need to learn how to share."

Mom: "Why's that?"

Betty: "They kept fighting the whole time over who gets the ball."

Joke of the Week #85

A little boy is visiting an art museum with his parents. When they enter the main room, he observes a sign reading, "ART OBJECTS." The boy taps his father on the shoulder and asks, "If art objects, why is he letting everyone look at his paintings?"

Joke of the Week #73

Teacher: "Now class, I'd like for you to share your favorite sayings with us." (She sees Dylan raise his hand.) "Yes, Dylan, what might your favorite saying be?"

Dylan: "'Let bygones be bygones.'"

Teacher: "Thank you, Dylan. Now, please tell the class, in your own words, why this saying is your favorite."

Dylan: "Because if we all took notice of it no one would have to take history tests anymore."

 

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #72

Teacher: "Henry, please spell the word, 'Catapult' for us."

 

Henry: "K-A-T-T-A-P-U-L-L-T."

 

Teacher: "The dictionary spells it, 'C-A-T-A-P-U-L-T.'"

 

Henry: "But you didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it."

 

 

 

Uhm, Can't I Have a Serious Moment?

Here is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction of mine, which is based off of a Captain Caveman episode from the Flintstone Kids entitled, "I Was a Teenage Grownup." In this story, Mojo Jojo, being the ever-present party pooper that he is, uses his new invention, the Adultifier, to turn all of the kids of Townsville into super-serious mini-adults. When a stray laser from the Adultifier hits Bubbles, thus robbing her of her fun-loving persona, it's up to Blossom and Buttercup to save her and all of the other kids of Townsville, and put Mojo in his place. Please enjoy!

Don't Let's Be Silly

 

 

BTW, here is a picture of Dr. Cooper, an OC I added to this story; she's Townsville's local physician and was rather stumped at why the kids' personalities had changed so abruptly.

 



Jokes of the Week #69: We STILL Don't Need No Education

English Teacher: "Marvin, I'd like for you to give me a sentence beginning with "I."

Marvin: "'I is...'"

English Teacher: "No Marvin, you must always say, 'I am.'"

Marvin: "Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'"

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History Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me what Camelot was?"

Lizzy: "A place to park camels."

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Did you hear about the three math teachers who went out for pizza but were divided over whether or not to add extra cheese?

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Sammy: "Say Mom, I just learned five new letters in scholl today!"

Mom: "Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! What were the letters?"

Sammy: "F-L-U-N-K."

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Teacher: "If I bought 100 doughnuts for one dollar, what would each one be?"

Nona: "Stale."

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Teacher: "Did you know that the bell just went, Mikey?"

Mikey: "Well, I don't know where it went to, but I sure didn't take it."

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Mom: "Did you get a good place in the geography test, Jeffrey Dear?"

Jeffrey: Yes, I sat next to the smartest kid in the class."

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When Edith's mother came home, she was surprised to see her daughter sitting on a giraffe's back, writing something. "Sweetie, what are you doing up there?" she inquired.

"Well you see," Edith replied. "The teacher wanted us to write an essay on our favorite animal."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is?"

Jane: "Lassie!"

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Walter's Father: "I want to take my son out of this terrible math class!"

Principal: "But sir, he's at the top of the class."

Walter's Father: "Yes, and that's how I know that this must be a terrible class."

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Why can you always believe everything bearded teachers tell you?

Because they can't tell bald-faced lies.

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Teacher: "I hope I didn't see you copying off of Gertie's paper, Laura."

Laura: "I hope you didn't either."

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Teacher: "Now Dora, if you had two pieces of chocolate and your sister had five, and you asked her for one, how many pieces of chocolate would you have?"

Dora: "Two."

Teacher: "You don't know math."

Dora: You don't know my sister."

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Teacher: "I wish that everyone would pay a little attention."

Ryan: "We're all paying as little attention as we can, ma'am."

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Science Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me whether heat or cold travels faster?"

Frankie: "Heat, because people can catch colds."

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Teacher: "Why didn't you stand at the end of the line like I asked you to, Flo?"

Flo: "I tried, but there was someone already there."

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The art teacher happens up to Harold, who's standing in front of a blank sheet of paper.

Art Teacher: "What's this a picture of, Harold Dear?"

Harold: "A cow eating grass."

Art Teacher: "But where's the grass?"

Harold: "The cow ate it."

Art Teacher: "Where's the cow?"

Harold: "Well, he's not going to hang around without any grass left to eat."

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Teacher: "Why haven't you been coming to school for the past few weeks, Dale?"

Dale: "It's not my fault, Miss Greyson, whenever I try to cross the street there's a guy standing there with a sign saying, 'STOP CHILDREN CROSSING.'"

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How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just leave the room dark and show a film strip.

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Jessie: "I thought you knew the answer to that question, Brad. Why didn't you tell the teacher?"

Brad: "Oh, but I did, I shook my head."

Jessie: "Well, you wouldn't expect her to hear it rattling from here, would you?"

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The art teacher assigned each member of her class to paint a self portrait. When Ashley handed hers in, the teacher took one look and said, "But Ashley, this isn't a picture of you."

"Yes," Ashley replied. "It's a self portrait of someone else."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me the name of a bird that doesn't build its own nest?"

Paul: "The cuckoo."

Teacher: "That's absolutely right, Paul! How did you know that?"

Paul: "Easy, Miss Warren, everyone knows cuckoos live in clocks."

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Teacher: "Are you good at arithmetic, Davis?"

Davis: "Well, yes and no."

Teacher: "How do you mean, 'Yes and no?'"

Davis: "Yes, I'm no good at arithmetic."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me which family the octopus belongs to?"

Marcia: "No one's I know."

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Dad: "This is the worst report card ever. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Carl: "Look on the bright side, Dad. At least you can be sure that I'm not cheating."

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Lois got up in front of her class and read her book report aloud. After she was finished, her teacher said, "That was very good, Lois; I especially appreciate you not giving away the ending."

"Well," Lois replied. "I thought that if they'd wanted to know the ending, they'd do what I did and rent the DVD."

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Arthur: "Mom, I can't go back to that school. The teachers keep getting on my case and the kids won't stop teasing me. Why should I go back?"

Arthur's Mom: "First of all, you're 45 years old, and second, you're the principal!"

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It's a Monster's Life

 



Here is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction of mine, which is based off of a Captain Caveman episode from the Flintstone Kids TV series entitled, "Attack of the 50-Foot Teenage Lizard." In this story, a gentle little boy monster named Timmy is expected by his parents to smash a city, which he doesn't want to do; fortunately, with the Powerpuffs' help, he finds a way to make his parents proud without hurting anyone. Please enjoy!

 

 

It's Not Easy Being a Monster

 

 

BTW, here are a few pictures of the story's characters:

 

 

Timmy, the friendly little boy monster who doesn't want to hurt anyone. His appearance is loosely based off of those of Billy, the kid monster from the original Captain Caveman episode.

 

 

And Timmy's family, whose appearances are based loosely off of those of Billy's family. Papa Monster is rather gruff, but has a gentle side, Mama Monster is pleasant and accomodating, and Timmy's little sis Dolores is somewhat moody, but can be sweet(She takes after her father that way).

 

 

 







Just for fun, I've also added a picture of Blossom, who's ended up wearing a clown suit after Timmy drops a costume shop on her(Much to her sisters' amusement).

 

 

Book Review: Looking for Bobowicz by Daniel Pinkwater

 

A recent offering from the one of the world's wackiest authors!

 

 

In this follow-up to Pinkwater's famous book The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, Nick(Whose real name, which he prefers not to reveal for obious reasons, is Ivan Itch) moves to the city of Hoboken with his eccentric parents. Nick quickly befriends two other kids named Loretta Fischetti and Bruno Ugg, and spends time hanging out with them, reading Classics Comics and drinking Dr. Pedwee's soda**.

 

 

While looking through the basement of Nick's new house one day, the three of them come across an old newspaper article telling about the time a giant chicken terrorized the city several years ago. On top of that, there have been several incidents of a mysterious "Phantom" stealing people's stuff...including Nick's own bike! Can Nick and his new friends, with the help of a series of eccentric adults, get to the bottom of this?

 

 

My thoughts: This is a very funny, intriguing book, written in Pinkwater's signature madcap style. The illustrations(Drawn by Daniel's wife Jill) are excellent, and the character's wacky names(Starr Lackawanna, Meehan the Bum et al.) are a lot of fun. Both this and The Hoboken Chicken Emergency are definite must-reads for Pinkwater fans.

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!



 

 

*Sounds yummy! :-9

Jokes of the Week #62: A Second Helping of Foodie Fun

A little boy is eating at a restaurant with his father. Shortly after the boy is brought a bowl of soup, he says, "Daddy, I can't eat this soup."

The father then calls to the waiter, "Could you bring my son another bowl of soup, please?"

The waiter obligingly brings another bowl of soup. Shortly thereafter, however, the boy says, "Daddy, I can't eat this soup, either."

The father calls to the waiter again, "Could you bring my son another bowl of soup, please?"

The waiter obligingly brings yet another bowl. Shortly thereafter, the boy says yet again, "Daddy, I still can't eat this soup."

Growing frustrated, the father inquires, "Son, you've been brought three different bowls of soup and haven't been able to eat a single one of them. What's wrong with the soup?"

"Oh, nothing, I just don't have a spoon."

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What's the best thing to serve with jacket potatoes?

Button mushrooms.

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What's a goalkeeper's favorite food?

Post and jam.

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What do monsters order at fast food restaurants?

French frights.

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What do you have if you eat two-thirds of a pie?

Angry dinner guests!

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Waiter: "I have boiled tongue, fried liver, and pigs' feet."

Mort: "Don't tell me about your health problems, just bring me my dinner!"

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What's the Abombinable Snowman's favorite food?

Ice-burgers and french fries.

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A man was eating alphabet soup. He had eaten nine bowls of it when he asked the waiter for another bowl. The waiter gives him an odd look. "How many bowls of soup are you going to eat?"

"Oh, I'm just gonna keep eating until I find a period." the guy replies.

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Why is it dangerous to go into a seafood restaurant?

You might run into a man eating lobster!

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Harold: "Say Don, did you know that you have a hot dog behind your ear?"

Dopey Don: "Oops! Well that explains what happened to my pencil."

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How do you make a berry punch?

Give it boxing lessons.

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How do you start a race between two rice puddings?

Sago.

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Mom: "Someone seems to have gotten into the fridge last night. Do you know anything about this, Jimmy?"

Jimmy: "Gosh, no, Mom. There wasn't anyone there last night when I finished off the last of the cake."

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Why does steak taste better in space?

Because it's meteor.

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Which dessert complains the most?

Apple grumble.

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Julia: "I'd like a scorched hamburger, greasy fries with too much salt, and a soggy, wilted Caesar salad."

Waitress: "I'm afraid the chef can't serve you that, ma'am."

Julia: "Why not? He did yesterday!"

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Mom: "Aren't you going to finish your alphabet soup, dear? You have only a few letters left in your bowl."

Tammy: "Yes, but they spell out, 'Brussels sprouts.'"

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Lina: "I'd like a cheeseburger without pickles, please."

Waitress: "Oh, sorry ma'am, but we're all out of pickles. I can give you one without onions, though."

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Marcus: "Waiter, this chili tastes like dog food."

Waiter: "Why, that's simply not possible, sir, how could cat food taste like dog food?"

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Whitney: "I went to that new restaurant down the street yesterday; I ordered a fresh salad and they gave me the freshest salad in the world. Then, I ordered a bowl of spicy chili and they gave me the spiciest chili in the world."

June: "Well, when I went there, I ordered a small hamburger."

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Why did the doofus stare at a bottle of orange juice for an hour?

Because it said, "Concentrate."

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A local restaurant had made a deal that whoever ordered a meal that they couldn't make would be paid $100. Carl stops by the restaurant one afternoon; after he's seated himself at a table, he tells the waiter, "I'd like an alligator sanwich on a hoagie roll with honey mustard."

The waiter promptly reaches into his pocket, takes out a fat roll of dollar bills, and gives Carl a hundred dollars. "What, no alligators today?" Carl inquires.

"Oh, we have plenty of alligators," the waiter replies. "We're just out of hoagie rolls."

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Lyle: "Say, waiter, there's Swiss cheese in this sandwich. I don't like cheese with holes!"

Waiter: "Well then, just eat the cheese and leave the holes on the plate."

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What did the doofus say when he was served a bowl of Cheerios at a diner?

"Say, when did you start serving donut seeds?"

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Frankie: "So, I took my girlfriend out for dinner at this fancy restaurant last night; she orders a bowl of soup, and wouldn't you know it, she finds a fly in her soup!"

Jeff: "Oh, that's awful! What did she do?"

Frankie: "Well, she turns to the waiter and calls, 'Waiter, remove this insect!"

Jeff: "And what happened then?"

Frankie: "He kicked me out the door."

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What happened to the angry chef who tried to make pancakes in a volcano?

He blew his stack.

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A man is sitting in a restaurant waiting for his bill, after eating his meal. Shortly, the waiter brings the bill, which says:

OMELETE                              $1.50

 

TEA                                        $.25

 

The diner asks if the waiter wouldn't mind taking the bill back and rewriting it as omelette with two t's. The waiter leaves for a minute or two, then comes back with a new bill, which says:

 

OMELETE                           $1.50

2 TEAS                                $.50

 



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What's a hot dog's favorite car?

A Rolls.

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From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #60

A little boy was sitting on a curb, pretending to fish down a manhole. A kindly old man walks up to the sad-eyed little boy. "How long have you been fishing, sonny?"

"All day." the boy replies woefully.

The old man hands the boy a dollar. "And how many have you caught?"

The little boy pockets the money and smiles. "You're the twelfth."

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Music Showcase: Ya Wanna Buy a Bunny? by Spike Jones

A humorous ditty told from the POV of a little boy who's overrun with pet bunnies who are giving him no end of trouble. Please enjoy!

BTW, there was also a cover of this song by famous kids' song laureate Joanie Bartels, which is available for download at this link. A good gift for younger fans of novelty songs.

Joke of the Week #55

Teacher: "Joey, I heard that you skipped school last Monday and went to the video arcade."

Joey: "It's not true, Mrs. Skunkmeyer, and I have the baseball tickets to prove it!"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #52

Officer Sally parks her car in a quiet neighborhood. As soon as she steps out of the car, her K9 partner, who's in the back, starts barking.

A little boy happening by stops short next to the car. "Excuse me miss, is that a dog you got back there?"

"Why, yes it is." Sally replies.

A puzzled look crosses the little boy's face. "What did he do?"

Book Review: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

How sweet it is.

 

 

WOOHOO! YEAH! 250 POSTS!!! WHOOPEE! ALL RIGHT! YAAAAY! Ahh...uhmm...(Ahem), now on to the review...

 

 

 

This book, which is most likely Roald Dahl's most popular, concerns Charlie Bucket, a poor paperboy who's family never has anything decent to eat. In fact, more than anything, they'd really like some nice candy! One day, Charlie finds a Golden Ticket, which will earn him a tour of famous candymaker Willy Wonka's factory, as well as a year's supply of candy! Charlie is joined on the tour by four obnoxious bratty kids: gluttonous Augustus Gloop, greedy little rich girl Veruca Salt, gum-chewing champion Violet Beaureguarde, and television addict Mike Teavee, who are all vying for the prize, too. Can Charlie beat out the(highly unpleasant) competition and claim his sweet reward?

 

 

 

 

My thoughts: Although it's probably up for debate as to which of Roald Dahl's books is the best, this one's certainly a pretty good candidate! The storyline is well-written, the characters are very interesting(particularly the Oompa Loompas), and the illustrations* are absolutely lovely. This book was so popular, in fact, that it inspired not one, but two movies and a real-life brand of candy. A definite must-read for any Roald Dahl fan.

 

Buy the book on Amazon!

 

Buy the 1971 Movie on Amazon!

 

Buy the 2005 Movie on Amazon! 





 

 

 

*The illustrations here are from an older and more rare copy of the book, illustrated by Joseph Schindelman. There's a more common version of this book, illustrated by Quentin Blake, which is also very nifty!

The Game Show: Rugrats: Search for Reptar for the Playstation

Just kid-ding! :-D

 

 

In this very first game starring Nickelodeon's famous group of wacky, lovable kids, Tommy Pickles misplaces the pieces of his favorite Reptar puzzle, so it's up to him and the rest of the Rugrats kids to win them back! Players guide Tommy and the crew through a series of minigames based off of episodes of the show, such as:

 

Ice Cream Mountain-The kids play through several(very bizarre!) mini-golf courses in hopes of winning one of the enormous ice cream sundaes offered at the end.(There's also a two-player version of this game.)

 

 

 

The Mysterious Mr. Friend-Stu has built a series of robot dolls which have begun malfunctioning, so it's up to Tommy to fight them off!

 

Touchdown Tommy-In this football game parody, greedy Angelica wants the kids' chocolate milk, so they have to quickly drink it up while avoiding her!

 

The Seven Voyages of Cynthia-Tommy and Chuckie borrowed Angelica's Cynthia doll without her knowing and accidentally got it lost down the sewer, so it's up to Spike(whom a few fans have affecionately dubbed, "The only four-legged Rugrat") to navigate the sewers and find it before Angelica gets back.(An interesting feature I'd like to make note of here is the character's HP gauges; the kids use bottles of milk for HP and Spike uses doggie biscuits.)

 

Mirrorland-In a situation that the fabled Alice could very much relate to, Tommy passes through his mother's antique mirror and ends up with his gravity reversed; Tommy now has to navigate the ceilings of his house and collect enough balloons to float back down to the ground before time runs out.

 

Grandpa's Teeth-Spike makes off with Grandpa Lou's false teeth at a family picnic at the park, so it's up to Tommy and Chuckie to retrieve them first from Spike, and then from a goose!*(Another interesting feature I'd like to mention is the way Chuckie follows Tommy in this game, much like how Tails follows Sonic, or how Luigi follows Mario in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.**)

 

Hi-ho Spike, awaaaaaaaay!

 

The Gold Rush-Angelica, who's just found a nickel on the playground, becomes greedy for more, so it's up to Phil and Lil to navigate the playground, collecting as many coins as they can before time runs out.(They could certainly take a few tips from Mario and Sonic about this. :-D)

 

Incident in Aisle Seven-Tommy navigates a(much more fraught than your average) supermarket in search of a box of his favorite cereal, dodging flying vegetables and fighting off(GLEEP!) escaped lobsters along the way.

 

Pros:-A very enjoyable, well-made game with virtually no learning curve.

 

         -Well-cast voiceovers with each character being voiced by their voice acors from the series.

 

         -Good graphics.

 

         -Background music taken from the show.

 

         -Many very clever little in-game features, such as toys the kids can play with.

 

 

Cons:-A few bad camera angles that can occasionaly make it difficult to see where you're going.

 

          -At the risk of sounding picky, Phil and Lil don't seem to get much face time in this game.(To be fair, though, this is the only Rugrats game I've played, so they may get more face time in other games.)

 

Overall, a very good, innovative game that represents the franchise well. Although this game is a bit simplistic, it's by no means a pushover(In the same spirit of such arcade classics as Pac-Man, Frogger, or Space Invaders). A must-play for any Rugrats fan.

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Wow, they really have their work cut out for them here! :-D

 

**More on that game later... 

 

 

 





A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bookstore: Tales For the Perfect Child by Florence Parry Heide

Well, nobody's perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

Don't let this book's title fool you, these kids are little monsters! (Literally and figuratively, even!

:-D) This collection of humorous, tongue-in-cheek short stories introduces us to such unforgettable characters as Ruby, whose mom asks her to watch her baby brother for her, and she watches as he wrecks everything in his path, Arthur, who dislikes the fancy outfit his mom insists that he wear, so he messes it up, Bertha, who wants to watch TV, but her mother would like her to go out and get some fresh air, so she hides her shoes, and Irving, who figures out a clever way to get out of going to a piano recital with his annoying cousin Irma. If you like monsters, you like funny books, and especially if you like funny books about monster kids, this is the book for you!

 

 Kids, don't try this at home! :-D

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!



 

Christmas Music Showcase:Nuthin' For Christmas by Daws Butler and Stan Freberg

A novelty Christmas classic by the late, great Hanna Barbera veteran Daws Butler and the legendary radio and cartoon voiceover veteran Stan Freberg(he did a lot of voiceover work for Warner Brothers' Looney Tunes, as well as the character Mo-Ron on Freakazoid), sung from the POV of a troublemaking little boy, set to a hilarious cartoon. Please enjoy!

Not only is he not getting anything for this Christmas, but he's not getting anything for the next one, or the next one, or the next one, or the next one, or the next one...