The father then calls to the waiter, "Could you bring my son another bowl of soup, please?"
The waiter obligingly brings another bowl of soup. Shortly thereafter, however, the boy says, "Daddy, I can't eat this soup, either."
The father calls to the waiter again, "Could you bring my son another bowl of soup, please?"
The waiter obligingly brings yet another bowl. Shortly thereafter, the boy says yet again, "Daddy, I still can't eat this soup."
Growing frustrated, the father inquires, "Son, you've been brought three different bowls of soup and haven't been able to eat a single one of them. What's wrong with the soup?"
"Oh, nothing, I just don't have a spoon."
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What's the best thing to serve with jacket potatoes?
Button mushrooms.
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What's a goalkeeper's favorite food?
Post and jam.
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What do monsters order at fast food restaurants?
French frights.
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What do you have if you eat two-thirds of a pie?
Angry dinner guests!
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Waiter: "I have boiled tongue, fried liver, and pigs' feet."
Mort: "Don't tell me about your health problems, just bring me my dinner!"
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What's the Abombinable Snowman's favorite food?
Ice-burgers and french fries.
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A man was eating alphabet soup. He had eaten nine bowls of it when he asked the waiter for another bowl. The waiter gives him an odd look. "How many bowls of soup are you going to eat?"
"Oh, I'm just gonna keep eating until I find a period." the guy replies.
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Why is it dangerous to go into a seafood restaurant?
You might run into a man eating lobster!
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Harold: "Say Don, did you know that you have a hot dog behind your ear?"
Dopey Don: "Oops! Well that explains what happened to my pencil."
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How do you make a berry punch?
Give it boxing lessons.
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How do you start a race between two rice puddings?
Sago.
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Mom: "Someone seems to have gotten into the fridge last night. Do you know anything about this, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Gosh, no, Mom. There wasn't anyone there last night when I finished off the last of the cake."
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Why does steak taste better in space?
Because it's meteor.
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Which dessert complains the most?
Apple grumble.
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Julia: "I'd like a scorched hamburger, greasy fries with too much salt, and a soggy, wilted Caesar salad."
Waitress: "I'm afraid the chef can't serve you that, ma'am."
Julia: "Why not? He did yesterday!"
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Mom: "Aren't you going to finish your alphabet soup, dear? You have only a few letters left in your bowl."
Tammy: "Yes, but they spell out, 'Brussels sprouts.'"
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Lina: "I'd like a cheeseburger without pickles, please."
Waitress: "Oh, sorry ma'am, but we're all out of pickles. I can give you one without onions, though."
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Marcus: "Waiter, this chili tastes like dog food."
Waiter: "Why, that's simply not possible, sir, how could cat food taste like dog food?"
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Whitney: "I went to that new restaurant down the street yesterday; I ordered a fresh salad and they gave me the freshest salad in the world. Then, I ordered a bowl of spicy chili and they gave me the spiciest chili in the world."
June: "Well, when I went there, I ordered a small hamburger."
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Why did the doofus stare at a bottle of orange juice for an hour?
Because it said, "Concentrate."
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A local restaurant had made a deal that whoever ordered a meal that they couldn't make would be paid $100. Carl stops by the restaurant one afternoon; after he's seated himself at a table, he tells the waiter, "I'd like an alligator sanwich on a hoagie roll with honey mustard."
The waiter promptly reaches into his pocket, takes out a fat roll of dollar bills, and gives Carl a hundred dollars. "What, no alligators today?" Carl inquires.
"Oh, we have plenty of alligators," the waiter replies. "We're just out of hoagie rolls."
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Lyle: "Say, waiter, there's Swiss cheese in this sandwich. I don't like cheese with holes!"
Waiter: "Well then, just eat the cheese and leave the holes on the plate."
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What did the doofus say when he was served a bowl of Cheerios at a diner?
"Say, when did you start serving donut seeds?"
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Frankie: "So, I took my girlfriend out for dinner at this fancy restaurant last night; she orders a bowl of soup, and wouldn't you know it, she finds a fly in her soup!"
Jeff: "Oh, that's awful! What did she do?"
Frankie: "Well, she turns to the waiter and calls, 'Waiter, remove this insect!"
Jeff: "And what happened then?"
Frankie: "He kicked me out the door."
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What happened to the angry chef who tried to make pancakes in a volcano?
He blew his stack.
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A man is sitting in a restaurant waiting for his bill, after eating his meal. Shortly, the waiter brings the bill, which says:
OMELETE $1.50
TEA $.25
The diner asks if the waiter wouldn't mind taking the bill back and rewriting it as omelette with two t's. The waiter leaves for a minute or two, then comes back with a new bill, which says:
OMELETE $1.50
2 TEAS $.50
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What's a hot dog's favorite car?
A Rolls.
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From Nickelodeon Magazine.
