Showing posts with label genie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label genie. Show all posts

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Jokes of the Week #39:Come and Knock on our Door

Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Who-who.

Who-who who?

What are you, an owl?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Annette.

Annette who?

Annette keeps your hair tidy.

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Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Dozen.

Dozen who?

Dozen look like rain.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

"Ivan working on the railroad, all the livelong day..."

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Free Stew.

Free Stew who?

The Free Stew-ges.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Nobel.

Nobel who?

Nobel, so I Knock Knocked.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Alda and Alda.

Alda and Alda who?

I'm getting Alda and Alda waiting out here!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Despair.

Despair who?

Despair tire is flat.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Turnip.

Turnip who?

Turnip the heat, it's freezing out here.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Canoe.

Canoe who?

"If Canoe you were comin', I'd have baked a cake..."

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Miniature.

Miniature who?

Miniature out here, I'll tell you.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Toledo.

Toledo who?

It's easy Toledo horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

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Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Iggy the Octopus.

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Knock-Scratch.

Who's there?

Captain Hook.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Olga.

Olga who?

Olga food at this restaurant is delicious!

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Jack: "Knock-Knock."

Jill: "Who's there?"

Jack: "Eiffel."

Jill: "Eiffel who?"

Jack: "Eiffel down and broke my crown."

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Lucas Tell.

Lucas Tell who?

Lucas Tell-o and Bud Abbot.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Dakota.

Dakota who?

Dakota fit fine, but da-pants-a too big!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Eugenie.

Eugenie who?

Eugenie in a bottle's gonna grant you three wishes!


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Hewlett.

Hewlett who?

Hewlett me out of this bottle!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Heywood Hugh Harry

Heywood Hugh Harry who?

Heywood Hugh Harry and open this door?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Euripedes.

Euripedes pants, and I'll sue you.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Eumenedes.

Eumenedes who?

Eumenedes pants, and I won't.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Sun Bear.

Sun Bear who?

"Sun Bear, over the rainbow..."

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Ohio.

Ohio who?

Ohio, Silver! Awaaaaaaaaaaay!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

That's my knees! I'm scared!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Dandelion.

Dandelion who?

It's just Dandelion 'round here, doin' nothin'.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Castanetts.

Castanetts who?

If you Castanetts inna water, you'll catch plenty of fish.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Wilma.

Wilma who?

Wilma frog turn into a prince?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Diploma.

Diploma who?

Diploma's here to fix da bathtub.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Stan Law.

Stan Law who?

Stan Law-rel and Oliver Hardy.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Howie.

Howie who?

Fine, thank you. How are you?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Linda.

Linda who?

Could you Linda hand for a second? I got heavy groceries.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Darth Vader.

Darth Vader who?

Darth Vader cookie crumbles.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Minneapolis.

Minneapolis who?

Minneapolis got worms in 'em.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Burglar.

Burglar who...wait, burglars don't knock!

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Knox.

Knox who?

Knock-Knox on the door.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Knox.

Knox who?

Knock-Knox on the door.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Knox.

Knox who?

Knock-Knox on the door.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Knox.

Knox who?

Knock-Knox on the door.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Fred.

Fred who?

Fred I was going to say Knock-Knox on the door again, weren't you?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Phyllis.

Phyllis who?

Phyllis pitcher up with lemonade.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Shelby?

Shelby who?

"Shelby comin' 'round the mountain when she comes..."

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Amanda.

Amanda who?

Amanda fix the sink.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Mandalay.

Mandalay who?

Mandalay the bathroom tiles.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Pudding.

Pudding who?

Pudding your underwear on before your pants is a very bad idea.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Pecan.

Pecan who?

Pecan the cookie jar and see if there are any left.

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Arnold.

Arnold who?

Arnold friend from Transylvania.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Samoa.

Samoa who?

Samoa old friends from Transylvania.


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Waterway.

Waterway who?

Waterway going to do with all these old friends from Transylvania?


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Cargo BEEP BEEP! over all the old friends from Transylvania.

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Knock-Knock...Knock-Knock...Hmm, guess nobody's there.

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From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Joke of the Week #24

A tremendous storm leaves three brothers, Brad, Steve, and Carl, shipwrecked on a faraway island. No one comes to their rescue, so they need to build themselves shelter and learn to live off the land. After several years pass, a bottle washes up on the shore; once they open it, a genie appears. "I shall grant you one wish each." the genie says.

"Okay," Brad says. "I wish I could go back home." A puff of smoke appears and, POOF! Brad suddenly disappears, sent back to his home.

The genie then turns to Steve. "And what will your wish be?"

"I also wish to go back home." Steve replies. Another puff of smoke appears and, POOF! Steve also disappears and is on his way back home.

The genie then turns to Carl. "And what will your wish be?"

Carl, who wasn't the brightest of the bunch, now notices that he's all alone. He says, with a sniffle, "I wish my two brothers were back. I'm lonely!"


From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Guess you can't believe everything you hear.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Joke of the Week #15

Carl is walking along the beach when he discovers a magic lamp partially buried in the sand. He pulls it out, rubs it, and a genie appears.

"I can grant you three wishes." the genie says. "What will you first wish be?"

Carl thinks for about a second, then says, "I wish I was the richest man on Earth."

A puff of smoke rises in the air and suddenly the entire beach is covered in gold coins. "Now," the genie says. "What will your second wish be?"

"I wish to have muscles." Carl says.

Another puff of smoke appears, and suddenly Carl has the finest muscles ever seen. "And what will your final wish be?" the genie asks.

"I wish to be irresistible to girls." Carl says.

A final puff of smoke appears and Carl turns into a Barbie doll.