Joke of the Week #86

Mom: "How did your first soccer game go, dear?"

Betty: "It went very well, Mom, but the other girls really need to learn how to share."

Mom: "Why's that?"

Betty: "They kept fighting the whole time over who gets the ball."

Joke of the Week Extra: A Special Helping of Foodie Fun

A special Joke of the Week in honor of the release of the movie Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2. 

 

 

A bean, a carrot, and a tomato were running a race. The bean started out strong, but being a green runner, didn't have the strength to finish the race. The carrot and tomato were running neck and neck for a while, but the tomato then quickly falls behind; the carrot is just about to reach the finish line, but then suddenly passes out just before the end, giving the tomato a chance to win.

 

 

How did the tomato fare so well?

 

 

The tomato paced itself.

 

 

 

 

 

From Nickelodeon Magazine.



In the Lemon-Limelight:Ultimate Muscle:The Kinnikuman Legacy

 

150 posts! ALL RIIIIIGHT!! YEAH! YEAH! WOO! WOO! HEY! HEY! Ah...ahem, where was I? Oh yes...

 

 

Ultimate Muscle:The Kinnikuman Legacy was an anime series dubbed into English by 4kids Entertainment and broadcast on FOX as part of the FoxBox block in 2002. Interestingly, although this franchise never became very popular in America, it's had a rather sizeable fanbase in Japan for over 30 years.

 

The franchise began in 1979 as Kinnikuman(which literally means "Muscle Man" in Japanese), a comic apprearing in the Weekly Shonen Jump magazine. The series chronicled the adventures of King Muscle(or Kinnikuman), a dumb but brave wrestling hero. In 1998, the current series Ultimate Muscle came along, which stars King Muscle's son Kid Muscle, a dumb but not-so-brave wrestler...Actually, this is putting it lightly! Kid Muscle, basically, is a whiny, cowardly, lazy, klutzy nitwit. Fortunately, however, he certainly lucked out when it came to inheriting his dad's powers. Whenever his friends are in danger, he lays the smackdown to the villains with his powers of Ultimate Muscle!

 

Kid Muscle's group of friends includes the feisty cowboy Terry "The Grand" Kenyon, who is his best friend(and the son of King Muscle's own best friend Terryman), the conceited, antelope-costumed Dik Dik Van Dik(who, despite all his bragging, is not really that good at wrestling), the optomistic, walrus-costumed Wally Tuskett(who loves to eat fish*), the quiet German wrestler Jaeger, and the polite, bashful, chess piece-costumed Checkmate, who was a reformed villain. Kid Muscle also has a rival in the form of the ill-tempered, knight's helmet-wearing Kevin Mask**(who is the son of King Muscle's own rival Robin Mask). Kid Muscle was also joined on his adventures by his personal trainer Mr. Meat(who had previously been King Muscle's personal trainer), and his on-again-off-again girlfriend Roxanne, and her two friends Trixie(No relation) and Kiki.

 

Episode plots often concerned Kid and his friends wrestling in tournaments and battling villainous wrestlers such as the evil DMP. The various legendary wrestlers(including King Muscle himself) would also appear from time to time.

 

Overall, this is a fun, interesting, and utterly HILARIOUS show***; a standout among most anime series, which make a point of taking themselves seriously. The art style is beautiful, the storylines are well-written, the characters are likeable and relatable, and the voices are expertly dubbed(a rarity for 4kids, to be sure****). It's particularly impressive how the writers had managed to imbue their many characters with distinct personalities and abilities. Honestly, it's quite a shame that this show was never as popular as some of the bigger anime franchises, such as Yu-Gi-Oh! and Dragonball Z, because it's every bit as good. An underrated anime classic(which is also one of my personal faves, BTW) that's certainly worth a look.

 



The opening theme is mighty catchy, too!

 



Although the complete English dub regrettably hasn't been released on DVD yet, a DVD of the first few episodes is available at the link below*****(A few episodes are also availabe on Youtube now): 

 

Ultimate Muscle Vol. 1

 





 

Several sets of mini figures, as well as a number of(very cool!) action figures of the characters were also made. These figures occasionally show up on ebay and Amazon.

 

Also made were a couple of Ultimate Muscle video games, which I plan to review in future Game Show sections. :)

 

There's even an Ultimate Muscle fansite, complete with character bios, episode recaps, a forum, and lots of other cool stuff:

 

Kinnikuman.com

 



 

 

 

"Bulging Biceps!"



 

 

 

 

Something I just had to add:

 

 

 

*Many of the show's running gags concern his appetite for fish, even.

 

**IMHO he kinda' looks like a knight going to a punk rock concert! :-D

 

 

***I highly reccomend watching this show in a room with a soft rug, because anyone who does will be rolling on the floor laughing! :-D

 

****Someone reviewing the DVD had even commented that the dub job was an improvement, to which I certainly agree; 4kids added more humor, gave the characters better voices and names et al.

 

*****A second DVD was planned, but regrettably, never made. :-(

 

And that's the end of that! :-D





Jokes of the Week #17:Hop, Skip, and Goof

(These are actually last week's Jokes of the Week; I've been kind of busy lately and I got to these a bit late, sorry about that.)

Jimmy:"Oh no! It's a run home!"

Betty:"I think you mean a home run."

Jimmy:"No, I really do mean a run home. I just hit the ball through Mr. Greyson's window!"

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Basketball Coach:"Now, team, can anyone tell me what a personal foul is?"

Ethan:"I think it means having your own chicken."

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Why don't centipedes play soccer?

By the time they put their shoes on, the game's over.

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Joe:"In Spain, the national sport is bullfighting, and in England it's cricket."

Norman:"I think I'd rather play in England, then."

Joe:"Why's that?"

Norman:"It's so much easier to fight crickets."

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Jessie:"Our new neighbors are very rich."

Michelle:"How rich are they?"

Jessie:"They're so rich, their kids' skateboards are chauffer-driven."

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Nona:"I went out riding this afternoon."

Rita:"Horseback?"

Nona:"Sure is-he got back an hour before I did!"

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Harold:"I'm taking a mail-order weight lifting class. Every week, the postal carrier brings me a new set of weights."

Archie:"Gosh, you don't look like you've gaineed any muscle."

Harold:"No, but you should see the postal carrier!"

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Marvin:"Do you know what I like best about baseball?"

Ted:"What's that?"

Marvin:"The grass, the dirt, and the lump in the throat."

Ted:"Yeah, and that's just the hot dogs!"

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A cricket walks into a London sporting goods store.

"Say," the shopkeeper says. "We have a game named after you here!"

"Really?" the cricket replies modestly. "You have a game called Murphy here?"

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Reporter:"What position do you play in the football game?"

Football Player:"Oh, sort of crouched down and bent over."

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A golfer is having a terrible time. First he slices the ball into some bushes, then into a sandtrap, then into the stream, then into a mud puddle, then across the highway. Eventually, he hits it deep into the woods and can't find it.

"Don't you think you should just leave it?" his caddy inquires.

"No," the golfer says. "This is my lucky golf ball!"

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A big fat man is playing golf. Each time before he tees the ball up, he waves to it.

"Do you do that for good luck?" his caddy asks.

"No, I'm waving goodbye to it." he replies. "This is the last I'm going to see of it until I hit it."

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Did you hear about the track runner who ran a 100-mile race? He was in the lead, and had only one more mile to go, but he got too tired to finish, so he turned around and ran back.

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That guy's such a terrible athlete...
(How terrible is he?)

...If he ran a bath, he'd come in last.

...If he played a piano, the piano would win.

...If he beat an egg, we'd all be surprised.

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Zoe, Louise, and Vicky go to the Summer Olympics, but soon discover that all the events are sold out.

"I have an idea," says Zoe. "We could pose as athletes; that way, they'd have to let us in."

The others agree that it's a good idea, and Zoe decides to go first. She hurries across the street to the city dump, where she finds a pie plate. She goes up to the security guard and says, "Henderson, discus throwing." and the guard lets her by.

Next, Louise goes to the dump and finds a length of metal tubing. "Allen, pole vaulting." she says, and the guard waves her by.

Determined to follow her friends, Vicky valiantly searches the dump, until she finds an old, rolled-up wire fence. She walks up to the guard and says, in a very confident voice, "Parker, fencing."

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Myles is walking along the pier, carrying two lobsters in a bucket. A game warden walks up to him and says, "Do you have a fishing license?"

Myles says, "I didn't catch these lobsters, they're my pets. Every morning, I stand by the pier and whistle; they hop out of the water, I take them for a walk, and I toss them back in at the end of the day."

"Hm, interesting." says the warden. "Would you mind showing me, please?"

"Absolutely." Myles says, and with that, he tosses the lobsters into the water.

"Okay," the warden says. "Now, show me how you whistle for the lobsters to come back out again."

Myles says, "What lobsters?"

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A fisherman catches a giant sea bass. The sea bass is so large and heavy that the fisherman can't even carry it over his shoulder; he has to drag it along behind him. A little while later, another fisherman, carrying 2,000 guppies over his shoulder, crosses paths with him. The other fisherman looks the sea bass over. "Only caught one, eh?" he says.

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A horse walks up to the racetrack betting booth, and plunks his money down. "I want to bet $100 on myself to win the ninth race." he says.

"That's incredible!" the astonished clerk says.

"What?" says the horse. "That I'm able to talk?"

"No," the clerk replies. "That you actually think you have a chance of winning the race."

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"We'll never catch an elephant at this rate." The game hunter sighs after a long day in the jungle. "We might as well go home."

"That's fine with me," her assistant replies. "I'm getting exhausted from carrying these decoys around."

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Which famous baseball player always had the sniffles.

Hankie Aaron.

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What do you call a cow that belongs to a soccer player?

The team Jersey.

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What position does a pig play on a football team?

Swinebacker.

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A man rents a deep-sea fishing boat and goes out for a day of fishing; he's hoping to catch a bunch of fish and bring them home for dinner as a surprise for his wife. Hours pass, and he doesn't catch a thing, so he gives up and heads back home. On the way home he passes a fish market. He turns to the fish seller and says, "Say, would you mind throwing two sea bass, three salmon, three catfish, two albacore tuna, and one red snapper to me, please?"

"Well, certainly sir, but why do you want me to throw them to you?" the fish seller asks.

"Because when I get home, I want to be able to tell my wife I caught these fish!"

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What did the bowling ball say to the bowling pin?

"I'll spare you this time!"

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From Nickelodeon Magazine.

 

These are the kind of things they don't tell you about in the history books.

Joke of the Week #4

George wins a Super Bowl ticket over the radio, but when he gets there, the seat is all the way over on the 50-yard line. Through his binoculars, he sees an empty seat up in the bleachers. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way past the security guards to the empty seat.

As he's sitting down, he asks the guy in the next seat, "Excuse me, but is this seat taken?"

The guy says, "No, go right ahead."

George says, "This is incredible! Who would have a seat like this and not use it?"

The guy says, "Well, actually, this seat belongs to me. I used to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1971."

George says, "Wow, that's really sad, but couldn't you find anyone to come with you? A friend or a close relative?"

The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #3

Bob and George are golfing, when a bird flies overhead.

"Wow! What a big duck!" Bob says.

"That's no duck, it's a goose." George says.

"No, it's a duck!" Bob says.

"I say it's a goose!" George says.

And so the argument went. "Duck!" "Goose!" "Duck!" "Goose!" "Duck!" "Goose!"

Another golfer behind them, playing the hole, yells, "Fore!" and hits the ball. Bob sees the ball coming and yells, "Duck!"

George yells back, "Goose!"

BONK.

"Well, this is embarassing, we're all wearing the same outfit."