In this very nifty MLP story, the Mane Six and their little dragon buddy Spike are having a pleasant nighttime picnic when they notice some strange blinking lights in the sky. The ponies panic, believing this to be evidence that aliens are invading Ponyville, but Twilight believes it's only a hoax. But who will turn out to be right? Please enjoy!
Showing posts with label horses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horses. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Friday, November 22, 2013
Ride 'Em Cow...Horse?
From the Rio Grande
But my legs ain't bowed,
And my cheeks ain't tanned,
I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow,
Never roped a steer 'cause I don't know how,
Sure ain't a'fixin' t'start in now,
Yippy-I-Oh-Ki-Ay,
Yippy-I-Oh-Ki-Ay.
Here is a My Little Pony fanfiction of mine, which is based on the comic "Pizen Springs Dude Ranch" from the Donald Duck compilation, Lost in the Andes. In this story, Applejack's family ranch has been plagued by a cattle rustler; Rainbow Dash and the little Cutie Mark Crusaders assist by looking after the ranch while she's away, but this rustler is much trickier than first anticipated, and keeps getting the jump on Dash! When push comes to shove, it may be up to the kids to save the day. Please enjoy!
BTW, here's a picture of the cattle rustler pony in and out of her disguise. Pathetic though her disguise may seem, she still somehow manages to trick Dash every time.
"Hmm, I see a lot of horses, but I don't see any thieves." (I couldn't resist. :-D)
Saturday, May 4, 2013
It's Pony Time!
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the most recent TV incarnation of the ever-popular My Little Pony franchise, as well as The Hub's most popular show. This series, which was written by Lauren Faust, who, along with her husband Craig McCracken, had previously worked on such acclaimed shows as The Powerpuff Girls and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, follows the daily life of the smart, sensible Twilight Sparkle, a unicorn apprenticed by Princess Celestia, the city of Equestria's resident royalty, and her goofy, lovable friends.
Twilight's group of buddies consists of the ditzy, hyper Pinkie Pie who loves to sing and throw parties, hard-working country girl Applejack whose family runs the local apple plantation, feisty tomboy Rainbow Dash who not only loves sports and races but also helps control the weather, sweet, bashful Fluttershy(Love that name!) who loves animals and nature, and haughty diva Rarity who is Equestria's resident fashion designer. The group is occasionally joined by Twilight's little dragon buddy Spike(who fans of MLP G1 will remember) and Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash's cute but accident-prone little sisters Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who have dubbed themselves "The Cutie Mark Crusaders", due to their trying to find their mission in life.
Episodes often revolve around the ponies incurring a dilemma or situation of some ilk, which they always solve with the help of their friends, a little bit of magic, and plenty of humor!Personally, I think this is the best version of My Little Pony(although G1 was certainly no slouch). The art style is beautiful, the characters are interesting, funny, and relatable, and the episode plots are clever, entertaining and amusing. The best thing about this show, at least IMHO, is that unlike previous MLP incarnations, it doesn't take itself seriously at all, with slapstick and silly jokes being a common occurence. A nifty show that MLP afficionados old and new are sure to love, with an excellent opportunity to introduce a whole new generation to that ever-catchy theme song!
"My Lit-tle Po-nee, My Lit-tle Po-nee..." Gotta love it! :-)
Several DVDs of the series were made, which are available on Amazon*:
Several other(very nifty!) items were made, such as books, a trading card game, and some very cool action figures!
Here are some links to some of the cooler action figures:
"Friendship is magic!"
*There's another DVD entitled, "Pinkie Pie Party", which regrettably isn't currently available on Amazon, but occasionally shows up on ebay.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Jokes of the Week #11:Doctor! Doctor!
"Doctor, no one will pay attention to me."
"Next!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy comes into the doctor's office with a carrot in his left ear, a banana in his right ear, and a bean in each nostril. The doctor says, "You aren't eating right."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I broke my arm in two places."
"Well, I sure wouldn't go back to those two places!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nelly:"I had been seeing fuzzy spots in front of my eyes, so I went to the eye doctor, and he gave me these glasses."
Zoe:"Oh, how nice! Do they work?"
Nelly:"Yes, I can see the spots so much more clearly now!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Sit!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Well, just sit over here on this couch, and we'll talk about it."
"I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my brother keeps thinking he's a pretzel."
"Well, bring him in, and I'll straighten him out."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm worried about my kids, Doctor. All they do all day is climb trees and swing from vines."
"Don't worry, ma'am, this is a very benign condition."
"Oh, thank you, doctor. Now, how much will the bill be?"
"30 bananas."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Dalmatian goes in to the eye doctor. "Every time I look at my friend, I see spots." she says.
"Well, I wouldn't be concerned about that," the doctor says. "You are a Dalmatian, after all."
"What difference does that make?" the Dalmatian replies. "My friend's a Tabby cat."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me."
"Please say that again, and this time, don't both speak at once."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my husband keeps thinking he's a horse."
"Well ma'am, I can cure him, but it's going to be fairly expensive."
"Money's no problem, he just won the Kentucky Derby."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my husband keeps thinking he's a refrigerator."
"Not to worry, ma'am, this is a very benign condition."
"Well, maybe so, but the light from his mouth keeps me awake at night."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I have this terrible feeling that everyone's trying to take advantage of me."
"Don't be concerned, sir, there's nothing to it at all."
"Gosh, thanks doctor, I feel a whole lot better. Now, how much will my bill be?"
"How much do you have?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The doctor tells this dopey guy, "Go home and drink a glass of warm tea after a hot bath."
The guy thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the doctor calls him and asks, "So, did the remedy I perscribed work?"
The guy answers, "I'm not sure. After I drank the bath, I didn't have room for the tea!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta help me, I keep thinking I'm happy!"
"Well, goodness, what in the world could be wrong with that?"
"Happy's my guinea pig."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"Sir, I believe you're suffering from a split personality."
Patient:"No, we aren't."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"I have good news and bad news for you, sir. The good news is that you're suffering from a split personality."
Patient:"Are you kidding? That's the good news?! Then what could the bad news possibly be?"
Doctor:"I'm going to have to bill you twice."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"When you brought your son to me this morning, you'd said he had trouble eating, but when I examined him, I found out that he had a broken nose."
Mrs. Warren:"Sorry doctor, I must not have been too clear when I said, 'He only pecks at his food."'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a movie."
"I thought I'd seen you somewhere before."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard comes into work one day with both of his ears bandaged up. "Gosh," the boss says. "How did you hurt your ears like that?"
Howard says, "Well, I was ironing a shirt one morning, when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains the one ear, but what happened to the other one?"
Howard says, "Well, see, then I had to call the doctor..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta give me something for my headache!"
"Well, I really didn't care to have it, but I'll give you a dollar if you insist."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I have this weird problem, doctor. Some days I wake up and think I'm Mickey Mouse, some days I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, and some days I wake up and think I'm Goofy!"
"I see, and how long have you been having these Disney spells?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm an alarm clock."
"Well, take two aspirin and ring me in the morning!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He opens the door and there's a six-foot cockroach standing in front of him. The cockroach pummels him black and blue and steals his wallet.
In the house next door, another guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He answers the door, and there's the six-foot cockroach. The cockroach clobbers him over the head and kicks him in the shins.
In the next house over, another guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He opens his door, and there's the six-foot cockroach again. The cockroach punches him in the eye, socks him in the nose, and kicks him in the bum.
The three guys drag themselves to the hospital; once there, they tell the doctor what had happened and describe the six-foot cockroach. The doctor says, "Yes, I've heard that there's been a nasty bug going around."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta help me! My throat is wurst."
"I think you mean, 'worse', sir."
"No, I really do mean 'wurst'. Do you know how much it hurts to choke on a sausage?"*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy goes into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, my body hurts whenever I touch it." The doctor says, "Show me." So, the guy touches his leg and screams, then he touches his leg and shrieks, then he touches his neck and wails. The doctor says, "Your finger's broken."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible!"
"Who said that?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Extra: What was the first thing the Big Bad Wolf ate after going to the dentist?
The dentist.(I couldn't resist. :-D)
"Next!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy comes into the doctor's office with a carrot in his left ear, a banana in his right ear, and a bean in each nostril. The doctor says, "You aren't eating right."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I broke my arm in two places."
"Well, I sure wouldn't go back to those two places!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nelly:"I had been seeing fuzzy spots in front of my eyes, so I went to the eye doctor, and he gave me these glasses."
Zoe:"Oh, how nice! Do they work?"
Nelly:"Yes, I can see the spots so much more clearly now!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Sit!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Well, just sit over here on this couch, and we'll talk about it."
"I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my brother keeps thinking he's a pretzel."
"Well, bring him in, and I'll straighten him out."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm worried about my kids, Doctor. All they do all day is climb trees and swing from vines."
"Don't worry, ma'am, this is a very benign condition."
"Oh, thank you, doctor. Now, how much will the bill be?"
"30 bananas."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Dalmatian goes in to the eye doctor. "Every time I look at my friend, I see spots." she says.
"Well, I wouldn't be concerned about that," the doctor says. "You are a Dalmatian, after all."
"What difference does that make?" the Dalmatian replies. "My friend's a Tabby cat."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me."
"Please say that again, and this time, don't both speak at once."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my husband keeps thinking he's a horse."
"Well ma'am, I can cure him, but it's going to be fairly expensive."
"Money's no problem, he just won the Kentucky Derby."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, my husband keeps thinking he's a refrigerator."
"Not to worry, ma'am, this is a very benign condition."
"Well, maybe so, but the light from his mouth keeps me awake at night."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I have this terrible feeling that everyone's trying to take advantage of me."
"Don't be concerned, sir, there's nothing to it at all."
"Gosh, thanks doctor, I feel a whole lot better. Now, how much will my bill be?"
"How much do you have?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The doctor tells this dopey guy, "Go home and drink a glass of warm tea after a hot bath."
The guy thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the doctor calls him and asks, "So, did the remedy I perscribed work?"
The guy answers, "I'm not sure. After I drank the bath, I didn't have room for the tea!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta help me, I keep thinking I'm happy!"
"Well, goodness, what in the world could be wrong with that?"
"Happy's my guinea pig."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"Sir, I believe you're suffering from a split personality."
Patient:"No, we aren't."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"I have good news and bad news for you, sir. The good news is that you're suffering from a split personality."
Patient:"Are you kidding? That's the good news?! Then what could the bad news possibly be?"
Doctor:"I'm going to have to bill you twice."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor:"When you brought your son to me this morning, you'd said he had trouble eating, but when I examined him, I found out that he had a broken nose."
Mrs. Warren:"Sorry doctor, I must not have been too clear when I said, 'He only pecks at his food."'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a movie."
"I thought I'd seen you somewhere before."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard comes into work one day with both of his ears bandaged up. "Gosh," the boss says. "How did you hurt your ears like that?"
Howard says, "Well, I was ironing a shirt one morning, when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains the one ear, but what happened to the other one?"
Howard says, "Well, see, then I had to call the doctor..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta give me something for my headache!"
"Well, I really didn't care to have it, but I'll give you a dollar if you insist."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I have this weird problem, doctor. Some days I wake up and think I'm Mickey Mouse, some days I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, and some days I wake up and think I'm Goofy!"
"I see, and how long have you been having these Disney spells?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm an alarm clock."
"Well, take two aspirin and ring me in the morning!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He opens the door and there's a six-foot cockroach standing in front of him. The cockroach pummels him black and blue and steals his wallet.
In the house next door, another guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He answers the door, and there's the six-foot cockroach. The cockroach clobbers him over the head and kicks him in the shins.
In the next house over, another guy is sitting in his living room, when his doorbell rings. He opens his door, and there's the six-foot cockroach again. The cockroach punches him in the eye, socks him in the nose, and kicks him in the bum.
The three guys drag themselves to the hospital; once there, they tell the doctor what had happened and describe the six-foot cockroach. The doctor says, "Yes, I've heard that there's been a nasty bug going around."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, you gotta help me! My throat is wurst."
"I think you mean, 'worse', sir."
"No, I really do mean 'wurst'. Do you know how much it hurts to choke on a sausage?"*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy goes into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, my body hurts whenever I touch it." The doctor says, "Show me." So, the guy touches his leg and screams, then he touches his leg and shrieks, then he touches his neck and wails. The doctor says, "Your finger's broken."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible!"
"Who said that?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Warning:This may just be the wurst joke on this page. :-D)
From Nickelodeon Magazine.
Extra: What was the first thing the Big Bad Wolf ate after going to the dentist?
The dentist.(I couldn't resist. :-D)
Friday, June 1, 2012
Jokes of the Week #8:We Don't Need No Education
Teacher:"Timmy, do you ever skip school?"
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Do you ever cheat on tests?"
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Do you ever play practical jokes?"
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Well, surely you must do something wrong sometimes!"
Timmy:"I tell lies."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Myles, can you show us where North America is on the map, please?"
Myles:"Here it is."
Teacher:"Thank you. Now, class, Can you tell me who discovered North America?"
Class:"Myles!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mom:"How was scool today, Billy?"
Billy:"Oh, some lady didn't know how to spell "cat", so I just told her."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"May I see your homework assignment, please, Molly?"
Molly:"I'm sorry, I can't. It blew away while I was walking to school."
Teacher:"Oh, really? And why were you late for school?"
Molly:"I had to wait for a strong wind."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"On Monday you told me your homework blew away. On Tuesday you said it fell in a mud puddle. On Wednesday you said it landed in the middle of the street and a street sweeper picked it up. On Thursday you said it fell into a wood chipper. Then I asked you to bring your parents to school today, so, where are they?"
Molly:"Uhm...uhh...my...dog ate them?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Sammy, do you remember what a tree's outside is called?"
Sammy:"Uhm, I forget."
Teacher:"Bark, Sammy, bark!"
Sammy:"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me why bears sleep for six months?"
Hayley:"Who'd be brave enough to wake them?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Donna, can you spell 'wrong' for me?"
Donna:"R-O-N-G."
Teacher:"That's wrong!"
Donna:"But, wasn't that what you wanted?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessie has been sent to the principal's office.
Principal:"Did you call your teacher a big meanie?"
Jessie:"Yes."
Principal:"And did you call her a wicked old witch?"
Jessie:"Yes."
Principal:"And did you call her a tomato-nosed beanbag?"
Jessie:"No, but I'll remember that for next time!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"If you had 10 apples in one hand and 15 apples in the other hand, what would you have?"
Mimi:"Very big hands."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Which is farther away, the moon or New York City?"
Bailey:"New York City."
Teacher:"Why do you think so?"
Bailey:"Because I can see the moon, but I can't see New York City."*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Your father's hair would turn grey if he saw the way you've been acting in class today!"
Carl:"Actually, it probably wouldn't bother him that much-he's bald."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me who wrote Tom Sawyer?"
Henry:"Gosh...I didn't know they had post offices in those days, but it was probably either Huck or Becky."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me what the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria were?"
Ashley:"I'm not sure, I just don't know that much about salsa music."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A third grade class walks into school one day and are surprised to see that their new teacher is a horse. He was a big horse, but he had a high-pitched, squeaky voice which the kids found hilarious. The kids would crack up everytime he opened his mouth, and he always found himself yelling and screaming for order, but never getting anywhere. One day, the horse lost his voice, so he brought a little pony into class with him. The pony was small, but he had a voice like a foghorn. He hollered, "YOU KIDS BETTER BEHAVE OR ELSE!!!" which restored order immediately. It just goes to show:Whenever you need to keep order, sometimes you have to shout until you get a little horse.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erin has been called over to the principal's office.
"I'm sorry," the principal says. "But I just discovered that you cheated on the test you took yesterday, so I'm going to have to change your A+ to an F-. Do you have anything to say?"
"Yes," says Erin. "This is very degrading."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The teacher gives her class an assignment,"I'd like you all to write a three-page essay on what you'd do if you had a million dollars."
The kids then all start writing dilligently, except Little Joey, who just sits with his feet propped up on his desk the whole time. Finally, when the class is finished with the assignment, they all turn their finished essays in, except Joey, who turns in three blank pieces of paper.
"Joey," the teacher says. "The whole class has worked hard on their essays, while you've done absolutely nothing this whole time. Why is this?"
"Well, you see, ma'am," Joey says. "That's what I'd do if I had a million dollars."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Where's your pencil, Freida?"
Freida:"I ain't got one."
Teacher:"No, no, Freida, where is your grammar?"
Freida:"She's at home and she ain't got my pencil neither."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"And where is your pencil, Benny?"
Benny:"I ain't got one neither."
Teacher:"How many times must I tell you, Benny? "I don't have one." "You don't have one." "He doesn't have one." "She doesn't have one." "They don't have one." "We don't have one." Do you understand?"
Benny:"Not really. Where did all the pencils go?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete:"A dog ate my homework."
Teacher:"You don't have a dog."
Pete:"It was a stray."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Do you ever cheat on tests?"
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Do you ever play practical jokes?"
Timmy:"No."
Teacher:"Well, surely you must do something wrong sometimes!"
Timmy:"I tell lies."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Myles, can you show us where North America is on the map, please?"
Myles:"Here it is."
Teacher:"Thank you. Now, class, Can you tell me who discovered North America?"
Class:"Myles!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mom:"How was scool today, Billy?"
Billy:"Oh, some lady didn't know how to spell "cat", so I just told her."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"May I see your homework assignment, please, Molly?"
Molly:"I'm sorry, I can't. It blew away while I was walking to school."
Teacher:"Oh, really? And why were you late for school?"
Molly:"I had to wait for a strong wind."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"On Monday you told me your homework blew away. On Tuesday you said it fell in a mud puddle. On Wednesday you said it landed in the middle of the street and a street sweeper picked it up. On Thursday you said it fell into a wood chipper. Then I asked you to bring your parents to school today, so, where are they?"
Molly:"Uhm...uhh...my...dog ate them?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Sammy, do you remember what a tree's outside is called?"
Sammy:"Uhm, I forget."
Teacher:"Bark, Sammy, bark!"
Sammy:"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me why bears sleep for six months?"
Hayley:"Who'd be brave enough to wake them?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Donna, can you spell 'wrong' for me?"
Donna:"R-O-N-G."
Teacher:"That's wrong!"
Donna:"But, wasn't that what you wanted?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessie has been sent to the principal's office.
Principal:"Did you call your teacher a big meanie?"
Jessie:"Yes."
Principal:"And did you call her a wicked old witch?"
Jessie:"Yes."
Principal:"And did you call her a tomato-nosed beanbag?"
Jessie:"No, but I'll remember that for next time!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"If you had 10 apples in one hand and 15 apples in the other hand, what would you have?"
Mimi:"Very big hands."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Which is farther away, the moon or New York City?"
Bailey:"New York City."
Teacher:"Why do you think so?"
Bailey:"Because I can see the moon, but I can't see New York City."*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Your father's hair would turn grey if he saw the way you've been acting in class today!"
Carl:"Actually, it probably wouldn't bother him that much-he's bald."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me who wrote Tom Sawyer?"
Henry:"Gosh...I didn't know they had post offices in those days, but it was probably either Huck or Becky."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone tell me what the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria were?"
Ashley:"I'm not sure, I just don't know that much about salsa music."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A third grade class walks into school one day and are surprised to see that their new teacher is a horse. He was a big horse, but he had a high-pitched, squeaky voice which the kids found hilarious. The kids would crack up everytime he opened his mouth, and he always found himself yelling and screaming for order, but never getting anywhere. One day, the horse lost his voice, so he brought a little pony into class with him. The pony was small, but he had a voice like a foghorn. He hollered, "YOU KIDS BETTER BEHAVE OR ELSE!!!" which restored order immediately. It just goes to show:Whenever you need to keep order, sometimes you have to shout until you get a little horse.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erin has been called over to the principal's office.
"I'm sorry," the principal says. "But I just discovered that you cheated on the test you took yesterday, so I'm going to have to change your A+ to an F-. Do you have anything to say?"
"Yes," says Erin. "This is very degrading."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The teacher gives her class an assignment,"I'd like you all to write a three-page essay on what you'd do if you had a million dollars."
The kids then all start writing dilligently, except Little Joey, who just sits with his feet propped up on his desk the whole time. Finally, when the class is finished with the assignment, they all turn their finished essays in, except Joey, who turns in three blank pieces of paper.
"Joey," the teacher says. "The whole class has worked hard on their essays, while you've done absolutely nothing this whole time. Why is this?"
"Well, you see, ma'am," Joey says. "That's what I'd do if I had a million dollars."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Where's your pencil, Freida?"
Freida:"I ain't got one."
Teacher:"No, no, Freida, where is your grammar?"
Freida:"She's at home and she ain't got my pencil neither."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"And where is your pencil, Benny?"
Benny:"I ain't got one neither."
Teacher:"How many times must I tell you, Benny? "I don't have one." "You don't have one." "He doesn't have one." "She doesn't have one." "They don't have one." "We don't have one." Do you understand?"
Benny:"Not really. Where did all the pencils go?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete:"A dog ate my homework."
Teacher:"You don't have a dog."
Pete:"It was a stray."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(It's like they say, though, if you get caught between the moon and New York City, best that you can do is fall in love.
:-D)
Monday, May 14, 2012
Classic Cartoon Showcase:Shirt Tales in Horsin' Around and Mission:Mutt
In the first half of this Shirt Tales episode, Clarence, the old carriage-driving horse, is retiring to a farm in the country, but he isn't happy. He feels out of place among all the racehorses residing there, due to the fact that he himself has always wanted to be in a race, but just never had the chance. Can the Shirt Tales help make his dream a reality?
In the second half, the furry little superguys meet an enormous and enormously appealing dog named Bubba.(Who, for some mysterious reason, seems to have a pouch on his belly...perhaps he's part kangaroo?) Bubba tells the Shirt Tales that he's bored with his home life, and seeks excitement. Unfortunately, he finds more than he bargained for when Hatcher, the local dogcatcher(who's so nasty he makes Nabbit look like a sweetheart!) nabs him and takes him to the pound. Can Bubba's new little friends save him? Please enjoy!
In the second half, the furry little superguys meet an enormous and enormously appealing dog named Bubba.(Who, for some mysterious reason, seems to have a pouch on his belly...perhaps he's part kangaroo?) Bubba tells the Shirt Tales that he's bored with his home life, and seeks excitement. Unfortunately, he finds more than he bargained for when Hatcher, the local dogcatcher(who's so nasty he makes Nabbit look like a sweetheart!) nabs him and takes him to the pound. Can Bubba's new little friends save him? Please enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)