Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Cartoon Showcase: Littlest Pet Shop in Whenever Lola Laughs
In this episode, the pets are visited by melancholy performance artist Lola the Sad Little Kangaroo. Each of them attempt to make her laugh and show her how to be positive, which, unfortunately proves to be futile...futile, that is, until she gets a load of Squeaks' zany act, which has her cracking up in a heartbeat! Unfortunately, however, when her owner Gunther(who has worse trouble keeping his pants on than Tubbs does!) comes to pick her up, he takes umbrage at her newfound levity. Can the pets(especially Squeaks) show him the benifits of humor? Please enjoy!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Cartoon Showcase: Littlest Pet Shop in Treasure of Sierra Pet Shop
If there's a prize for how much slapstick is in a single LPS episode, this episode might certainly win it! In this humorous offering from this cool but underappreciated series, Chloe finds what she perceives to be a treasure map, so she and the other pets charter a boat to a small island to find it. When they find a large gold tooth, they end up feuding...all with appropriate amounts of hilarity ensuing! Please enjoy!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Funny Poem Showcase: What I Want for my Birthday by Douglas Florian
You know, maybe next year she should eliminate the middleman and make a list of the things she doesn't want! :-D
Joke of the Week #57
Amy: "We had to find a new home for our Dachshund."
Molly: "Really? Why's that?"
Amy: "Well, it took him so long to come in the front door, he kept letting all the bugs in."
Molly: "Really? Why's that?"
Amy: "Well, it took him so long to come in the front door, he kept letting all the bugs in."
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Plush Pets For Sale!
Puppies and kitties and mousies, oh my! Here are some handmade plushie pets of mine, which are now for sale on ebay:
Tried to give this guy sorta' retro-look eyes.
These also make good gifts for kids, adults, teenagers, fish, amphibians,
inanimate objects...(Uhm, is this joke staring to get old? Little bit? Kinda?) Uhm, please enjoy the plushie pets! :-D
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Jokes of the Week #56: Duh...More Not Smartness!
Sally: "Say, won't you get hot wearing so much to paint your house?"
Goofy Gus: "Don't worry, it said on the can to put on three coats."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus take his typewriter back to the shop?
Because the zero was upside down!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mac: "Heh, what a dweeb that guy is. He thinks a football coach's got four wheels!"
Roger: "Yeah, heh heh, isn't that something? Oh, by the way, how many wheels does it have?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lisa: "May I borrow some of your CDs, please?"
Zoe: "Well sure, but they're so scratched up, I don't think they'll play right any more."
Lisa: "Oh, don't worry about that, I sandpapered them down the last time I borrowed them, so they shouldn't have that problem any more."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you tell a stupid pirate?
He's the one with a patch over both eyes!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did the team of doofuses keep losing the tug-of-war?
They pushed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dopey Dan: "I've got a problem."
Perry: "What's that?"
Dopey Dan: "Well, my mother sent me to the store to buy some mouse velvet, but she forgot to give me the mouse to match it with."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When do doofuses go to the movies in groups of 17 or more?
When the sign outside the theater says, "Under 18 not admitted."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus call the 7-11?
To see when they were closed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the dopey hitchhiker?
He got up early in the morning so their wouldn't be much traffic around.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus buy dogwood seeds at the garden center?
She was hoping to grow a litter of puppies!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the doofus who got a camera for his birthday?
He just got his first roll of film back-24 pictures of his right eye.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosie: "I'm sorry, but I can't come to your party this afternoon. My husband and I are going to see Romeo and Juliet."
Wendy: "That's okay, you can bring them along, too, if you like."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the doofus who wrote a letter to himself?
He forgot to sign it, so he doesn't know who sent it to him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad: "Now, you kids know better than to use that kind of language!"
Sam and Suzy: "But Dad, Shakespeare uses those words."
Dad: "Well, I don't want you kids playing with him any more!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
June: "Say, is that a new car?"
Nate: "Well, certainly."
June: "But, didn't you just buy one last week?"
Nate: "Well yes, but I went into the used car dealership to use their phone, and I didn't want to leave without buying something."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened when the doofus got a brain transplant?
The brain rejected him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the dopey shoplifter?
He threw his back out trying to lift the corner store.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the other dopey shoplifter?
He stole a free sample.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ray: "Oh say, may I ask what time it is, please?"
Frankie: "It's 10:28."
Ray: "Ohh, wouldn't you know it?! I've been asking people for the time all day, and each time they tell me something different!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I cleaned my computer, and now it doesn't work."
Repairman: "What did you clean it with?"
Customer: "Soap and water."
Repairman: "Soap and water? That's the problem! You're never supposed to get a computer wet."
Customer: "Oh, I'm sure the water probably wasn't the problem. It must have been when I put it in the dryer."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus spend two hours in the department store?
He was looking for a backwards baseball cap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does a doofus get the most out of his money?
By sitting at the back of the bus to get a longer ride.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heather: "Clyde, do you know what the weather's like?"
Clyde: "I'm not sure, it's to foggy to tell."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the stupid glass blower?
He inhaled and got a pane in his belly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's at the top of a stupid window cleaner's ladder?
A stop sign.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Valerie wanted to get her sister Goofy Gladys something special for her birthday, so she gets her a cell phone. She patiently shows Gladys how the phone works, and all of its features, and she loves it. A couple of days later, Gladys goes to the nail salon and recieves a call from Val.
"Hi, Gladys."
"Hi, Val."
"Say, how do you like your new phone?"
"Oh, it's just wonderful! Its reception is great, and your voice is clear as a bell, but I do have one question."
"Yes?"
"How did you know I was at the nail salon?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doofuses have transparent lunch boxes?
So that they can tell whether they're going to work or coming back from work.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Goofy Gus: "Don't worry, it said on the can to put on three coats."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus take his typewriter back to the shop?
Because the zero was upside down!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mac: "Heh, what a dweeb that guy is. He thinks a football coach's got four wheels!"
Roger: "Yeah, heh heh, isn't that something? Oh, by the way, how many wheels does it have?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lisa: "May I borrow some of your CDs, please?"
Zoe: "Well sure, but they're so scratched up, I don't think they'll play right any more."
Lisa: "Oh, don't worry about that, I sandpapered them down the last time I borrowed them, so they shouldn't have that problem any more."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you tell a stupid pirate?
He's the one with a patch over both eyes!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did the team of doofuses keep losing the tug-of-war?
They pushed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dopey Dan: "I've got a problem."
Perry: "What's that?"
Dopey Dan: "Well, my mother sent me to the store to buy some mouse velvet, but she forgot to give me the mouse to match it with."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When do doofuses go to the movies in groups of 17 or more?
When the sign outside the theater says, "Under 18 not admitted."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus call the 7-11?
To see when they were closed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the dopey hitchhiker?
He got up early in the morning so their wouldn't be much traffic around.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus buy dogwood seeds at the garden center?
She was hoping to grow a litter of puppies!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the doofus who got a camera for his birthday?
He just got his first roll of film back-24 pictures of his right eye.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosie: "I'm sorry, but I can't come to your party this afternoon. My husband and I are going to see Romeo and Juliet."
Wendy: "That's okay, you can bring them along, too, if you like."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the doofus who wrote a letter to himself?
He forgot to sign it, so he doesn't know who sent it to him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad: "Now, you kids know better than to use that kind of language!"
Sam and Suzy: "But Dad, Shakespeare uses those words."
Dad: "Well, I don't want you kids playing with him any more!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
June: "Say, is that a new car?"
Nate: "Well, certainly."
June: "But, didn't you just buy one last week?"
Nate: "Well yes, but I went into the used car dealership to use their phone, and I didn't want to leave without buying something."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened when the doofus got a brain transplant?
The brain rejected him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the dopey shoplifter?
He threw his back out trying to lift the corner store.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the other dopey shoplifter?
He stole a free sample.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ray: "Oh say, may I ask what time it is, please?"
Frankie: "It's 10:28."
Ray: "Ohh, wouldn't you know it?! I've been asking people for the time all day, and each time they tell me something different!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I cleaned my computer, and now it doesn't work."
Repairman: "What did you clean it with?"
Customer: "Soap and water."
Repairman: "Soap and water? That's the problem! You're never supposed to get a computer wet."
Customer: "Oh, I'm sure the water probably wasn't the problem. It must have been when I put it in the dryer."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the doofus spend two hours in the department store?
He was looking for a backwards baseball cap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does a doofus get the most out of his money?
By sitting at the back of the bus to get a longer ride.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heather: "Clyde, do you know what the weather's like?"
Clyde: "I'm not sure, it's to foggy to tell."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the stupid glass blower?
He inhaled and got a pane in his belly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's at the top of a stupid window cleaner's ladder?
A stop sign.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Valerie wanted to get her sister Goofy Gladys something special for her birthday, so she gets her a cell phone. She patiently shows Gladys how the phone works, and all of its features, and she loves it. A couple of days later, Gladys goes to the nail salon and recieves a call from Val.
"Hi, Gladys."
"Hi, Val."
"Say, how do you like your new phone?"
"Oh, it's just wonderful! Its reception is great, and your voice is clear as a bell, but I do have one question."
"Yes?"
"How did you know I was at the nail salon?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doofuses have transparent lunch boxes?
So that they can tell whether they're going to work or coming back from work.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Nickelodeon Magazine.
Cartoon Showcase: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot in O Silly Mio
Not enough hilarious for you? Well, this over-the-top wacky episode of Animaniacs will surely be just the thing! In this humorous cartoon, the Warners' new stained glass window is shattered by an opera singer next door(who has an OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD VOICE!); when the kids request that the singer lower her voice, however, she's rather rude about it. This, of course, then prompts them to get revenge(not unlike how Slappy did in a similar situation) with, of course, appropriate amounts of slapstick ensuing. Please enjoy!
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