Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts

Saturday, August 16, 2014

PPG Blooper Reels Season One: Monkey See, Doggie Do

Several of these bloopers were recommended to me by my good friend Monstarzgirl, including one featuring her OC, Rebecca Utonium. Thank you very much for working on these stories and blooper reels together with me, Monstarzgirl, I appreciate it very much, and look forward to us writing more in the future. :)


The girls free a dog from an abandoned car.

Dog: “H-help me...”

Powerpuffs: “What? A talking dog?”

Talking Dog(Who's just walked up to them): “Hm! Imagine that! Who would have ever believed that there was such a thing?”

Director: “Cut!”

>

Powerpuffs: “Miss Bellum!”

Miss Bellum(With a cow's head): “Mooooo!”

Director: “Cut!”

Take 2

Powerpuffs: “Miss Bellum!”

Miss Bellum(With a duck's head): “Quack! Quack! Quack!”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 3

Powerpuffs: “Miss Bellum!”

Miss Bellum(With a frog's head): “Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!”



Director: “Cut!”

>

Narrator: “Doggone you, Mojo! How dare you turn man into man's best friend, you evil-”(Mojo points the laser at the narrator and blasts him.) “Meow! Meow! Meow!”

Mojo(Blushing): “Oops.”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 2


Narrator: “Doggone you, Mojo! How dare you turn man into man's best friend, you evil-”(Mojo points the laser at the narrator and blasts him.) “Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!”

Mojo(Facepaws): “Oh, darn it!”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 3


Narrator: “Doggone you, Mojo! How dare you turn man into man's best friend, you evil-”(Mojo points the laser at the narrator and blasts him.) “Neiiiiiigh!”

Mojo(Groaning): “Ugh...not again...”

Director: “Cut!”

>

Rebecca Utonium is walking down the street, when suddenly, Mojo hits her with the laser, turning her into a keeshond.

Rebecca: (panting at Mojo)

Mojo: Becca, you look so cute! (hugs Rebecca and gets licks from her)

Powerpuffs: "Aww!"

Director: "Cut!"

>

Mojo is commanding the people-turned-dogs via a megaphone.

Mojo: "I will give you commands, and you will obey them. Now, SIT!"(The dogs promptly sit.) "SPEAK!"(The dogs howl in unison.) "Now, roll over!"(The dogs all roll over.) "Now, play dead!"(The dogs roll onto their backs and freeze in place.) "Now, shake!"(The dogs all hold their paws out.) "Now, beg!"(The dogs all sit up and beg.) "Hee, hee, what fun!"

Director: "Cut!"

>

The Powerpuffs have burst into Mojo's lair.

Blossom: “Not so fast,”

Buttercup: “Mojo-”

Bubbles: “-Jojo!”

Mojo(As he zaps them with the laser): “Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say Power-”(The girls have turned into cats.) “-Kitties?”

Girls-turned-cats: “Mew! Mew! Mew!”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 2


Blossom: “Not so fast,”

Buttercup: “Mojo-”

Bubbles: “-Jojo!”

Mojo(As he zaps them with the laser): “Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say Power-”(The girls have turned into mice.) “-Mice?”

Girls-turned-mice: “Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!”

Director: “Cut!'


Take 3


Blossom: “Not so fast,”

Buttercup: “Mojo-”

Bubbles: “-Jojo!”

Mojo(As he zaps them with the laser): “Too late, Powerpuffs! Or should I say Power-”(The girls have turned into frogs.) “-Frogs?”

Girls-turned-frogs: “Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!”

Director: “Cut!”

>

Mojo climbs out of the Girls-turned-dogs' reach and sticks his tongue out at them.

Mojo(Gloating): “Ha-haa! Try as you might, I am higher than you, and being higher than you puts me out of your reach.”(Buttercup then runs around behind him.) “If you were here, you might get me...”(She then bites him in the butt.) “AYEE!”(Mojo tosses the laser in the air, upon which it comes down on his head, knocking him to the ground.) “Oooh...ow...”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 2


Mojo(Gloating): “Ha-haa! Try as you might, I am higher than you, and being higher than you puts me out of your reach.”(Buttercup then runs around behind him.) “If you were here, you might get me...”(She then bites him in the butt.) “AYEE!”(Mojo tosses the laser in the air, upon which it crashes through his roof.) “Oops...”

Director: “Cut!”


Take 3


Mojo(Gloating): “Ha-haa! Try as you might, I am higher than you, and being higher than you puts me out of your reach.”(Buttercup then runs around behind him.) “If you were here, you might get me...”(She then bites him in the butt.) “AYEE!”(Mojo tosses the laser in the air, upon which it goes flying right at the cameraman's head.”
Cameraman: “OWWW!”(Falls over.)
Mojo(Blushing): “Oh dear...”
Director: “Cut!”
Stagehand(To cameraman): “How many fingers?”
Cameraman(Dazed): “Approximately 2, 785, 453, 219.”(Hesitates, then slowly sits up.) “Say, Joe, where did you get so many fingers?”
>
After the laser breaks and all of the people-turned-dogs revert to normal, Mojo transforms into a chicken.
Mojo-turned-chicken: “Oh, cluck, cluck, cluck! Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck!”
Director: “Cut!”
Take 2
Mojo turns into a mouse.
Mojo-turned-mouse: “Oh, squeak, squeak, squeak! Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!”
Director: “Cut!'


Take 3
Mojo turns into a frog.


Mojo-turned-frog: “Oh, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!”

Director: “Cut!”

Mojo-turned-frog(Woefully): “Ribbit...Why me? Why always me?”

>

Talking Dog(Walking by in the background): “Heh, a talking dog, how silly! Who would ever believe it?”




Fan Fiction Showcase: Sonic the Hedgehog meets Littlest Pet Shop by rocker16349

A very cool story written by my friend rocker16349 in which the famous fleet-footed hedgehog and his fox friend Tails pass into another dimension where they meet and befriend Blythe and her furry little friends. When Dr. Eggman comes to spoil the fun, it's up to the speedy duo to save their new friends! Please enjoy!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Joke of the Week Extra: The Revenge of The Return of The Riddle Seller, Too.

1. What could a person put in a barrel to make it lighter?

2. How could a person take five from one?

3. What weighs more, a ton of steel or a ton of cotton?

4. How many feet are there in a field containing a farmer, fifty sheep, four cows, nine horses, two cats, three dogs, seven pigs, and  eight mice?

5. What has a tail that never wags?

6. What type of ring is always square?

7. What can be broken with a single word?

8. How could a person divide four potatoes among five people?

9. What could a person give away, but still keep?

10. How is a fire like thirst?

11. What could a person hold in their right hand that they couldn't hold in their left hand?

12. When the living are walked on, they barely make a sound, but when the dead are walked on, they raise quite a racket. What might they be?

13. How is a tadpole like a penny?

14. What grows bigger and bigger the more people take away from it?

15. Why couldn't it rain for two days in a row?

16. Which food stays hot for the longest time in the refrigerator?

17. They aren't your brother or sister, but are still your parents' child. Who might they be?

18. It has two hands, but no fingers, and stands still, but runs. What might it be?

19. How is the letter T like an island?

20. Which question can never be answered, "Yes"?

 
(Answers below!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
1. A hole.
 
2. By either taking their five toes from one sock, or their five fingers from one glove.
 
3. Both weigh the same.
 
4. Only two. The rest have hooves, trotters, or paws.
 
5. A shirt.
 
6. A boxing ring.
 
7. Silence.
 
8. By either mashing them or making French fries.
 
9. A cold.
 
10. A little water will end them both.
 
11. Their left elbow.
 
12. Leaves.
 
13. It has a head on one end and a tail on the other.
 
14. A hole in the ground.
 
15. Because there is a night in between.
 
16. The chili powder.
 
17. You.
 
18. A watch.
 
19. Because it's always in the middle of water.
 
20. "Are you asleep?"
 


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Joke of the Week #88

First Explorer: "I came across a large Bengal tiger in the wilds of India last week, and managed to capture him in my pajamas."

Second Explorer: "How in the world did a Bengal tiger get in your pajamas?"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Joke of the Week #81

A long time ago, in medieval England, two knights, one tall and one short, are riding out into the mountains to battle a dragon. As they reach the outside of the dragon's cave, the short knight turns to his associate and says, "I'm going in after the dragon. You just wait out here in case he comes out."

"Sure thing." the tall knight obliges, upon which the short knight disembarks his horse and traipses inside.

After wandering through the darkness for a few minutes, the short knight hears a loud rumbling roar and looks up to see the dragon, smoke pouring from his nostrils, staring him right in the face. "Say," the short knight says. "I'll be that I can prove to you that dragons don't exist."

"All right." the beast agrees, upon which the short knight takes a pocket dictionary out of a pocket in his armor and hands it to the dragon. The dragon puts on his reading glasses and pores over the dictionary, "Hmm, alligators, apes, armadillos...bats, beagles, bears...ferrets, frogs, foxes...geckos, giraffes, gorillas...lemmings, lemurs, llamas...newts, nightingales, nutrias...opossums, ostriches, otters...skunks, snakes, sparrows...tigers, toads, turtles...walruses, whales, wolves...zebras, zebus, zorillas. Nope, no dragons." And with that, the dragon disappears in a puff of smoke.

As the short knight leaves the cave he's greeted by his associate, who's pleased to see him unharmed. "How did you ever defeat that awful dragon?"

"Oh, wasn't a big deal, really, I just proved to him that dragon's don't exist. By the way, could we stop by the local pet store on our way home? I promised my wife a phoenix for her birthday."





   

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Book Review: Little Wolf's Haunted Hall for Small Horrors by Ian Whybrow

 Here's a review of the third volume of this very cool and highy underrated series.
 



Little Wolf's Uncle Bigbad, proving that he won't let a little thing like death stop him, has returned as a ghost with many dark and spooky powers, and LW, along with his buddies Yeller, Stubbs, and guest pest Smellybreff, who plan to open a Scare School to help little critters get their scream on, persuade him to be their "School Spirit." Uncle Bigbad obliges, but, apparently being just as untrustworthy as he was in life, he makes things too scary, and ends up scaring the pants off of their students...


 

 
Uncle Bigbad makes a wager with the group, promising to share his power of finding lost treasure with them if they can find someone who can stand up to him for five minutes. LW searches high and low, before coming across a bear cub named Normus who's super-strong, brave, and a bit of a bully. Normus proves to be more than a match for Uncle Bigbad's dark powers, but this endeavor may end up being more trouble than it's worth, because Normus spends most of his time bullying and bashing LW and his friends. Can Little and his crew get Normus on their side in time to win the bet?

Not only is that rude, but also very unsanitary! :-p
 
 
 
My thoughts: One of the more interesting books in this series with many exciting moments. This volume gives us our first in-depth look at the various denizens of the Frettning Forest(turtles, lions, bats, alligators, weasels et al.) as well as more of the various surrounding areas. Normus' briefly-seen family are good, well-written characters, as is, of course, Uncle Bigbad. I must admit that Mister Twister's unexplained villain status does still bug me a little bit, but other than this, I had no major complaints. All in all, an excellent and very enjoyable addition to this series, and a must-have for any Little Wolf aficionado.
 
 
 

 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Book Review: Little Wolf's Diary of Daring Deeds by Ian Whybrow

Here's a review of the second volume in this very nifty book series.
 
 
 
Little Wolf is planning to open an Adventure Academy where his(late) Uncle Bigbad's Cunning College once was, and is pleased for his joke-loving cousin Yeller(named for his REALLY LOUD VOICE!*) to come join him. Unfortunately, he soon becomes doubly disappointed when not only do his parents decide not to come stay with them, but his little brother Smellybreff does. Now, LW had indicated several times in the previous book that he didn't like Smellybreff very much, and in this volume we truly see why. Smells is the most whiny, bossy, greedy, pesky, ill-mannered little brat you'd ever care to meet!(And those are just some of his good points! :-D) His parents, very obliviously however, think that Smells is cute and can do no wrong, possibly indicating that his misdeeds occur in their absence.

 
 


Eventually, LW and his friends get a call from a Mister Marvo who agrees to help them set up the attractions at Adventure Academy; unfortunately, little do they know that he's actually Mister Twister the fox, Uncle Bigbad's former business partner and master of disguise, who cubnaps Smellybreff and steals Uncle Bigbad's treasure. Now it's up to Little, Yeller, and their new travelling buddy Stubbs the crow(known for mostly saying "Ark" with a few other words, occasionally) to save the little pest.


Along the way, they face off with a mountain lion, explore several strange towns, climb the Grim Mountains, visit a hot springs, charter a boat, and encounter a friendly(and very helpful) group of whales. Will they be able to rescue Smells and retrieve the treasue before it's too late?

 
 
My thoughts: Although this book had its interesting moments, I personally didn't think it was one of this series' stronger entries. To be fair, its purpose seemed to be mainly to establish the characters and storyline for the series in general. Out of fairness also, the crew's adventures and the locations they visit are quite interesting, and there are some good moments of character development as the crew attempt to overcome their worst fears: Stubbs' fear of flying, LW's fear of loud noises, and Yeller's fear of snow and cold weather(The latter being because the cold weakens his voice).
 
My only real major beef with this book was:
 
Mister Twister's sudden villain status; in the previous book, he was a good guy, and even warned LW not to trust Uncle Bigbad. Granted, the series did need an antagonist, but still.
 
Despite its minor flaws, this book is by no means terrible. In fact, it's a very good, fun, and very well-written book with many memorable characters. A must have for any Little Wolf fan.
 
 
 
 
 
 
*In this respect, he takes after Uncle Bigbad a little bit.


Sunday, June 16, 2013

Music Showcase: Father and Daughter by Paul Simon

Another sweet song about the love between a father and his daughter by Paul Simon(formerly of Simon and Garfunkel) from The Wild Thornberrys Movie. Please enjoy! (A box of tissues is also recommended here.)  :*)  :*)  :*)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Jokes of the Week #59: Animal Crack-Ups 2: It's a Zoo in Here

Marvin: "This morning I woke up and was surprised to find the dog licking my face."

Sandy: "Why were you surprised?"

Marvin: "We don't have a dog."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a crazy flea?

A looney tick!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tania: "Say, did you know that it takes three sheep to make a sweater?"

Walter: "Gee, I didn't even know they could knit!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did Mr. and Mrs. Chicken name their baby?

Egg.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A herd of buffalo is travelling across the plain, when a cowboy rides up alongside them. "You're the ugliest buffalo I've ever seen," he says. "Look at you, your fur is all tangled and matted, you're dirty and smelly, and you're slobbering all over the place."

After the cowboy leaves, one of the buffalo at the back of the herd turns to the buffalo next to him and says, "I think I just heard a discouraging word."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why was the little whale sent to the principal's office?

For spouting off at the teacher.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you get when you cross a small deer with a ghost?

Bamboo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jumbo the circus elephant was known for being big-hearted. The other day, he was walking in the parade, when he accidentally stepped on a bird. Knowing that the bird probably had a nest somewhere with a baby in it, he sat on the bird to keep it warm.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Junior: "Daddy, Daddy, there's a Dalmatian in the house."

Dad: "Don't worry about that, son, I hear that Dalmatians are supposed to be lucky."

Junior: "This one sure is. He ate your dinner!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you get when you cross a pig with an iguana?

A porky spine.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morris(At the zoo): "You know, I wonder what that prairie dog would say if he could talk."

Wendy: "He'd probably say, 'Pardon me, but I'm a ferret.'"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simon: "I finally found the rattle in my car."

Rhonda: "Oh, I'm glad to hear that."

Simon: "I'm not-it was attatched to a snake!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a shark and a T. Rex?

I don't know, but I sure wouldn't get in the pool with it!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How is the letter "A" like a flower bed?

Because they both have bees coming after them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's a cat's favorite musical?

The Sound of Mew-sic.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do rodents use for bad breath?

Mousewash.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gloria: "Mr. Franklin worked as a dogcatcher for 20 years, but now he's been fired."

Myles: "Why? What happened?"

Gloria: "The dogs started catching him."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's a sheep's favorite movie?

Ewe Got Mail.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do fish swim in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Mona is leaving her house one morning, she sees her neighbor Mrs. Greyson walking through her front door, holding a pet carrier. Mona walks up to her. "Hi, Mrs. Greyson. What'cha got in that carrier?"

"It's a cat." Mrs. Greyson replies. "You see, for the last few nights, I've been dreaming about rats, and I've been really scared! The cat will catch them, hopefully."

A perplexed look crosses Mona's face. "But...the rats aren't real."

"Don't worry, dear, the cat isn't either."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Skunk: "But Mom, why can't I have a chemistry set for my birthday?"

Mama Skunk: "I'm afraid that it would stink up the house."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a knock at the door, and when Lucy answers it, she sees a snail sitting on her doorstep. Lucy then immediately picks up the snail, runs to the end of her driveway, and throws it as hard as she can.

Two years pass, and Lucy hears another knock at her door as she's sitting in her living room. She answers the door, and finds the same snail there. "What was that all about?" the snail asks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fido: "There's a dog on the next block with really long ears, and every time he walks up the stairs, he steps on them."

Fifi: "He steps on his ears?"

Fido: "No, he steps on the stairs."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you?

When you're a mouse.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stayed in a small village in the country last summer; my landlady kept animals. On the first day one of her chickens died, so we had roast chicken for dinner.

On the second day one of her pigs died, so we had honeybaked ham.

On the third day one of her sheep died, so we had lamb chops.

On the fourth day her husband died, so I left before dinner.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What has 100 feet and 98 shoes?

A centipede trying on a new pair of sneakers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are elephants prone to holding grudges?

They can forgive, but they can't forget.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And why are giraffes prone to holding grudges?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cowboy Tom and Cowboy Fred shared a field for their two horses. In order to be able to tell them apart, Tom tied a red ribbon around his horse's tail; one day, when they went out to the field, Tom noticed that the ribbon had fallen off.

"Now how will we tell our horses apart?" a concerned Tom exclaims.

Fred thinks about it for about a minute. "I know! How about if you take the black one and I take the white one?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did Tarzan say when he saw an enormous pink elephant wearing dark glasses walking by?

Nothing. He didn't recognize it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Morgan was having a difficult time teaching her parrot to talk. She tried everything: repeating certain phrases to him several times, reading to him, and having conversations within his earshot, but nothing ever worked. Then one day, after she had fed the bird his dinner, the parrot said, "Can I have a little more birdseed, please?"

Mrs. Morgan was shocked. "You can talk? But, how come you never said anything before?"

"Well, everything's been fine until now."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the sheep like the buffet restaurant?

Because the sign said, "All Ewe Can Eat."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Jokes of the Week #53: Bestseller List

The Invisible Man
by Donna C. Yew
 
Swimming the English Channel
by Francis Neer
 
100 Great Recipes
by Dean R. Bell
 
Carpeting Made Easy
by Walter Wall
 
Same Old, Same Old
by Ben Dare and Dawn Datt
 
The Lone Cowboy
by Larry Att
 
Strong Winds
by Gail Force
 
Sahara Journey
by Rhoda Camel
 
The Haunted House
by Hugo First
 
The Millionaire
by Iva Fortune
 
Can You Really Make Friends With Dracula?
by Dawn U. B'leevitt
 
World Atlas
by Geo. Graffie
 
Babysitting Made Easy
by Justin Casey Howells
 
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare
by Toby R. Nottobee
 
The Unknown Author
by Ann Onymous
 
Surrounded by Sharks
by Don Rock Daboat
 
How to Be an Expert Bullfighter
by Matt Adore
 
The Traveller's Guide to Alaska
by R.U. Kold and I.M. Freezn
 
I Poked a Rhino in the Nose
by Ron Feryerlife
 
Famous Frights
by Terry Fyde, Minerva S. Wreck, and I. Will Wiggout
 
Toxic Waste
by Paul Ooshun
 
Excercise at Home
by Ben Dan Stretch
 
Across the African Plains
by Ann T. Lope
 
Stormy Days
by A. Pauline Weather
 
Reptiles and Amphibians of the World
by Sally Mander and Tad Paul
 
Primitive Weaponry
by Bo N. Arros
 
Why I Walked Home From Work
by Mr. Bus
 
The True Story of How I Was Hit by an Alien's Blaster Ray
by O. Howard Hertz
 
Making Electricity
by Jenna Rator
 
Butterfly Catching Made Easy
by Annette N. Ajar
 
Collecting Modern Paintings
by Art X. Ibit
 
One, Two,
by Buck L. Myshoo
 
Department Store Courtesy
by May I. Helpyoo
 
150 Mexican Recipes
by Holly Peenyo
 
How to Run a Service Station
by Phillip McCarr and Bud Aaron Tyre
 
Yummy Christmas Treats
by Candy Kane
 
I Couldn't Sleep a Wink
by Eliza Wake
 
The New Improved Thesaurus
by Dick Shunnery and Alfie Bett
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Thursday, February 21, 2013

Joke of the Week Extra: More Riddles

1. What's something that's close to your eyes, but difficult to see?

2. Where does Friday come before Thursday?

3. What never asks any questions, but is always answered?

4. A doctor's brother died. The man who died had no brothers. How is this possible?

5. A man eats eggs for breakfast every day. He never begs, borrows, or steals the eggs, there are no stores nearby, and he doesn't own any chickens. How does he get the eggs?

6. You have a bucket with three fish in it. How do you divide the fish among three sea lions so that each sea lion gets a fish, but there's still a fish left in the bucket?

7. What weighs nothing, but can fill a whole room?

8. Where in a room could someone put an octopus so that everyone could see it except them?

9. A scientist has invented a formula that can eat through any type of matter. However, she can't market it. Why?

10. A scientist has invented the world's most powerful glue. However, he can't test it. Why?

11. How could a person live for 80 years but only have 20 birthdays?

12. What's a word that people have been pronouncing wrong for years?

13. What has three feet but can't move?

14. What's always coming, but never actually gets here?(Hint: it's not the cable guy! :-D)

15. What animal eats and drinks with its tail?

16. You're walking down the street and you see a T. Rex standing on a newspaper. How could you get the newspaper safely?

17. What's something that belongs to you, but is used more by your friends?

18. How many cookies can you put in an empty jar?

19. A hamster, a camel, an elephant, a goose, and a ferret all gathered under and umbrella. Which one of them ended up getting wet?

20. Freida and Fiona are sisters. They were born on the same day, at the same time, in the same year, and yet they aren't twins. How is this possible?

(Answers below!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
1. Your nose.
 
2. In the dictionary.
 
3. The telephone.
 
4. The doctor was a woman.
 
5. He eats duck eggs.
 
6. Give fish to the first two sea lions, and the third sea lion gets the fish that's still in the bucket.
 
7. Smoke.
 
8. On top of their head.



 From Dominion Tank Police
See? It really works! :-D
 
 
9. There was nothing she could put the formula in.
 
10. He couldn't get the lid off of the jar.
 
11. If they were born on February 29.
 
12. "Wrong."
 
13. A yard.
 
14. Tomorrow; by time it gets here, it's today.
 
15. All of them. No animal removes its tail to eat or drink.
 
16. By waiting until he left.
 
17. Your name.
 
18. Only one. After that, the jar isn't empty anymore.
 
19. None of them. It didn't rain.
 
20. They were two of a set of triplets.
 
Slow and steady wins the race.
 


Monday, December 31, 2012

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bookstore:The Utter Zoo:An Alphabet by Edward Gorey

One wonders what those critters on the cover are. Tigers? Dogs? Big doggie-tiger-like-thingies?


A amusing poem by the late, great Edward Gorey, cataloguing twenty-six different bizarre creatures, such as the shy Dawbis, the glue-eating Ipagoggy, the vicious, dinosauric Crunk, the dancing Posby, and the microscopic Ulp.

 
It may give the elephant a run for its money as the largest land mammal.
 
Who wanted to eat one?
 
 
If you like poems and you like weird animals, this is the book for you!
 
 
 


Monday, December 24, 2012

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bookstore:The Tighty Whitey Spider by Kenn Nesbitt

When pigs fl-oh, wait...
 
 
200 posts?!?! ALL RIGHT!!! DA DA DAH, DA DA DA DA DAH, DA DA DA DA DA DA DA-A-AHH! YEAH! (Is this joke starting to get old? Kinda? Sorta? Little bit? Oookay. :-D)
 
 
This is a very nifty little book of weird and wacky animal poems, with many very clever little ditties, such as the titular tale of a certain undies-clad spider, "Cara's Parrot", which concerns a bodybuilding bird, "Has Anyone Seen My Chameleon?", concerning the disadvantages of playing hide-and-seek with a chameleon, "Banana Dan", the sad(or, actually, more pathetic!) tale of a once brave monkey, "Speedy Sid", which concerns a racing squid, "Gabby's Baby Beagle", a tongue-twisting poem about a girl and her baby beagle, who has a taste for bagels, "An Ordinary Day", which catalogues a cavalcade of Unusually Uninteresting Sights, "Get Me out of the Fish Tank", a song set to the tune of "Take Me out to the Ball Game", told from the POV of a cat who tried to get a snack and fell in, and "My Hamster has a Skateboard", concerning a skateboarding hamster who's not so easy on his wheels. (Let's face it-Tony Hawk he ain't!) If you like funny poems, you like animals, and especially if you like funny poems about animals, this is the book for you!
 
 
Here are a couple of my faves:
 
He's one kitty that's certainly very straight-to-the-point! :-D
 
Hmm, I wonder if Peach and Edwin like to play this game.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
BTW, Ganz, the makers of the very popular Webkinz line of plushies, has also made a series of plushies with triangular bodies called Triang-A-Mals, one of which being a cat. This is perfect for anyone who might like a triangular kitten of their own, or knows someone who does.
 
 
 
 
  

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Joke of the Week #22

A zoo receives a gnu. Upon the gnu's arrival, the zookeeper notices that, unfortunately, the tiling job on the gnu's cage hasn't been finished; since it's a bit late, they determine that they'll just have to finish the job tomorrow.

The next morning, the zookeeper happens by the gnu's cage and is shocked to see that the gnu has finished the tiling job all by himself, and done an impeccable job as well! The zookeeper is so astounded that he rushes to the zoo manager and tells him what's happened. The zoo manager doesn't believe it at first, so the zookeeper leads him to the gnu's cage and shows him. The manager is so amazed that he calls a TV news crew to come over to the zoo at once.

The newscaster asks the manager, "And, how do you explain this phenomenon, sir?"

The manager shrugs. "He's just a typical gnu, and tiler, too."




Saturday, August 11, 2012

Cartoon Showcase:Slappy Squirrel in I Got Yer Can

In this(absolutely HILARIOUS!!!) offering from Steven Spielberg's Animaniacs, the famous slap-happy squirrel heads off to the grocery store for some buttermilk; on the way, she drops an empty soda can in her annoying neighbor's trash can, which the neighbor responds very rudely to. Most people would just ignore this and move on, but not Slappy, oh no. She plans REVENGE! Please enjoy!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Music Showcase:Talk to the Animals by Bobby Darin

This is a cover of the song from the original Dr. Dolittle movie, sung by Bobby Darin; the vide features many very cute and very cool animal pics. (This is a good song to listen to while watching the cartoon in the previous post.) Please enjoy!

Cartoon Showcase:Hornswiggle

Q. What do you do if you see a 2-ton rhino running right at you? A. RUN!!!...especially if that rhino is the very helpful, overly sensitive and slightly hyper Hornswiggle! In this hilarious offering from Nickelodeon's Random! Cartoons series, Hornswiggle aspires to become a sidekick to his TV hero, Zantar of the Jungle(Hmm...Zantar reminds me of someone, but I can't quite place who... :-D); in hope of proving to Zantar that he would make a good sidekick, Hornswiggle makes numerous attempts to help him, but all of his efforts end in disaster(not unlike the efforts of Miss Helpful of Mr. Men fame). Please enjoy! (Personally, what I think is the niftiest thing about this cartoon is that it's the first ever cartoon starring a rhino!)





Q. How can you tell if a rhino is about to charge?
A. He takes out his credit card. (I couldn't resist. :-D)

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Game Show:Zoocube for the Nintendo Gamecube, the Gameboy Advance and the Playstation 2

Save the animals(from being made into weird shapes)!

In this very nifty little puzzle game, the maniacal Dr. Buc Ooze has transformed a series of animals into odd shapes, so it's up to you to save the animals and return them to their natural state! Players stack "animal shapes" on a multi-sided block(the "ZooCube"); when two like shapes are connected, an animal is freed. The animals range from cute to funny to cool to just plain weird(the hippo and the koala)!
 Various powerups, which enable such things as faster stack rotation and removal of excess shapes, are available in the game, as are various goodies which are worth extra points. There are also bonus rounds which occasionally occur between levels.


The GBA version is somewhat different from the GC version, mainly in that rather than animal shapes, players stack various geometric shapes together. (Personally, I always thought the GC version was the better of the two due to the fact that you can actually see the rescued animals in that version, whereas in this version you can't.)


There's also a PS2 version which seems a bit more rare(and also isn't currently available on Amazon). I haven't played it personally, but I'd wager it's probably similar to the GC version.


Pros:-A very clever, original puzzle game with tons of replay value.

        -Beautiful, beautiful graphics.

        -Virtually no learning curve.
       
        -Very cool BGM.


Cons:-The game's storyline is very inane and utterly pointless. Like Prey the Stars, this game doesn't really seem to need a storyline, at least IMHO.

         -The shapes that come toward the cube from directly below are(in my experience, at least) the hardest to keep an eye on.


Overall, a very cool and innovative game that's hard to put down(you may ask me how I know...
:-D). If you like animals and you like puzzle games, and particularly if you like puzzle games about animals, this is the game for you!