Jokes of the Week #74: Daffynitions

Allegro: A lower limb grows longer.

Avowal: An A, E, I, O, or U, sometimes a Y.

Buckboard: An excellent price for lumber.
            Also, Buccaneer: An excellent price for corn.

Bulkhead: A massive hat.

Bumpkin: To nudge one's relative.

Calcium: What Cal said when he saw 'em.

Circumflex: A polite invitation for a friend to come and work out with you.

Condescend: The act of a crook lowering him/herself down on a rope.

Deduce: D'lowest card in d'deck.

Defense: It surrounds d'yard.

Denounce: D'words that describe d'objects.

Falsehood: 1. Someone who masquerades as a crook.
                    2. A fake hoodie.

Filmdom: The movie stinks.

Gangway: A bunch of people standing on a scale.

Implies: The little rotter is fibbing.
                Also, Implore: Stories about the little rotter.

Indistinct: Where people put dirty dishes.

Kinship: Your rich uncle's boat.

Knapsack: Another word for sleeping bag.

Notator: No sour cream or chives, either.

Observatory: What a colonial general might tell a scout to do.

Overbear: A better place to be than under one, albeit not by much.

Parrafins: What one might find on a fish's sides.

Plaintiff: A run-of-the mill spat.

Rampage: The part of the dictionary about male sheep.

Rattan: What a rat might get at the beach.

Tenure: Fiveure plus fiveure.

Uproar: The sound a flying lion might make.

Valorous: A big animal vis tusks; lives in ze vasser.

Vanguard: Someone who guards station wagons.

Versicle: 1. A frozen poem.
                2. A multi-talented icicle.

Washable: Something a ranchhand might do, but very carefully. ("Wash a bull.")

Whereto: Whereone plus whereone.
               Also, Wherefore: Whereto plus whereto.

Windjammer: Someone who spreads jam on their toast in a tornado.

Xerophyte: No spat.

Zealotry: What a tree seller would like to do.

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Music Showcase: Lullaby by Mandah

A nifty little pop-salsa fusion ditty from the Pokemon: The First Movie soundtrack and a tribute to the famous Poke-diva herself, Jigglypuff, complete with adorable pictures, including several of her dating Nintendo mascot Kirby. (They do look very similar!) Please enjoy!

Joke of the Week Extra: A Special Helping of Foodie Fun

A special Joke of the Week in honor of the release of the movie Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2. 

 

 

A bean, a carrot, and a tomato were running a race. The bean started out strong, but being a green runner, didn't have the strength to finish the race. The carrot and tomato were running neck and neck for a while, but the tomato then quickly falls behind; the carrot is just about to reach the finish line, but then suddenly passes out just before the end, giving the tomato a chance to win.

 

 

How did the tomato fare so well?

 

 

The tomato paced itself.

 

 

 

 

 

From Nickelodeon Magazine.



Book Review: Little Wolf's Diary of Daring Deeds by Ian Whybrow

Here's a review of the second volume in this very nifty book series.

 

 

 

Little Wolf is planning to open an Adventure Academy where his(late) Uncle Bigbad's Cunning College once was, and is pleased for his joke-loving cousin Yeller(named for his REALLY LOUD VOICE!*) to come join him. Unfortunately, he soon becomes doubly disappointed when not only do his parents decide not to come stay with them, but his little brother Smellybreff does. Now, LW had indicated several times in the previous book that he didn't like Smellybreff very much, and in this volume we truly see why. Smells is the most whiny, bossy, greedy, pesky, ill-mannered little brat you'd ever care to meet!(And those are just some of his good points! :-D) His parents, very obliviously however, think that Smells is cute and can do no wrong, possibly indicating that his misdeeds occur in their absence.

Mr. Big Stuff himself.

 

 





Eventually, LW and his friends get a call from a Mister Marvo who agrees to help them set up the attractions at Adventure Academy; unfortunately, little do they know that he's actually Mister Twister the fox, Uncle Bigbad's former business partner and master of disguise, who cubnaps Smellybreff and steals Uncle Bigbad's treasure. Now it's up to Little, Yeller, and their new travelling buddy Stubbs the crow(known for mostly saying "Ark" with a few other words, occasionally) to save the little pest.

Along the way, they face off with a mountain lion, explore several strange towns, climb the Grim Mountains, visit a hot springs, charter a boat, and encounter a friendly(and very helpful) group of whales. Will they be able to rescue Smells and retrieve the treasue before it's too late?

 

 

My thoughts: Although this book had its interesting moments, I personally didn't think it was one of this series' stronger entries. To be fair, its purpose seemed to be mainly to establish the characters and storyline for the series in general. Out of fairness also, the crew's adventures and the locations they visit are quite interesting, and there are some good moments of character development as the crew attempt to overcome their worst fears: Stubbs' fear of flying, LW's fear of loud noises, and Yeller's fear of snow and cold weather(The latter being because the cold weakens his voice).

 

My only real major beef with this book was:

 

Mister Twister's sudden villain status; in the previous book, he was a good guy, and even warned LW not to trust Uncle Bigbad. Granted, the series did need an antagonist, but still.

 

Despite its minor flaws, this book is by no means terrible. In fact, it's a very good, fun, and very well-written book with many memorable characters. A must have for any Little Wolf fan.

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!

 

 

 

 

*In this respect, he takes after Uncle Bigbad a little bit.



"Weirdies" For Sale!

Here are some handmade stuffed animals from a new line I've started called "Weirdies." They were made from this very bizarre-looking vintage pattern I bought a little while ago; I purposely tried to keep them weird looking. They're now available on ebay:

 

 

 

 

 

 

These also make good gifts for kids, adults, teenagers, fish, amphibians, inanimate objects...(Uhm, is this joke becoming a bit much? Little bit?) Uhm, please enjoy the "Weirdies!" :-D

 

 

You can buy them here!

Musical Plushies For Sale!

Here are a few handmade musical plushies of mine, which are now available on ebay:

Una the unicorn plays "The Unicorn Song."*

 

Arthur the dragon plays "Greensleeves."

 

And his girlfriend Gwenevere plays "Camelot."

 

 

These also make good gifts for kids, adults, teenagers, fish, amphibians, inanimate objects...(Uh, am I overdoing this joke? Kinda? Sorta?)  Uhm, please enjoy the musical plushies! :-D

 

You can buy them here!

 

 

 

 

Fun Fact: The Unicorn Song was originally written by the legendary Shel Silverstein, and then featured in his book, "Where the Sidewalk Ends."

Joke of the Week #73

Teacher: "Now class, I'd like for you to share your favorite sayings with us." (She sees Dylan raise his hand.) "Yes, Dylan, what might your favorite saying be?"

Dylan: "'Let bygones be bygones.'"

Teacher: "Thank you, Dylan. Now, please tell the class, in your own words, why this saying is your favorite."

Dylan: "Because if we all took notice of it no one would have to take history tests anymore."

 

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Music Showcase: It's Not Easy by Sean Marshall and Helen Reddy

A heartwarming song from the Disney classic Pete's Dragon, sung by Sean Marshall(who played Pete in the movie) and '70s songstress Helen Reddy, set to Disney's Ugly Duckling cartoon.(This is a good song to listen to while reading the book in the previous post.) Please enjoy!

A box of tissues comes highly reccommended while listening to this song. :*) 

Book Review: The Half and Half Dog by Lisa Gross

 

Here's a review of one of the winning entries of the Written and Illustrated By... Awards Contest of 1987.

 

 

This charming book, written by then-twelve year old animal lover Lisa Gross, concerns a(very cute!) little puppy who looks half like a Golden Retriever and half like a Scottie(By contrast to his Golden Retriever and Scottie brothers and sisters). Like kindred spirits Dumbo the Flying Elephant and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the poor little fellow is ridiculed for his appearance by people and dogs alike. Along the way, the puppy escapes the pound, visits a meat market, has a mishap with shoe polish in an attempt to disguise himself, and finds and unexpected friend in a gruff but kindhearted bulldog named Max. But will he ever find an owner who will love and accept him for who he is?

 

 

 

My thoughts: This is a very sweet, heartwarming, and beautifully written book. The style in which the book was written is interesting, in that it's much longer than your average picture book, but shorter than your average novel, making it easily accessible to a broad audience, and each illustration's a beaut'. Readers will immediately fall in love with the little puppy and sympathize with his situation, and the story delivers an excellent message about how all of us are beautiful and special the way we are. A top-notch pick for dog lovers everywhere.

 

Buy it on Amazon!

 

 

 

Fun Fact: Author Lisa Gross hadn't actually owned any dogs at the time, owning two cats and two birds instead.

What. A. Dump.

Here is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction of mine, which is based off of a Captain Caveman episode from the Flintstone Kids entitled, "Grime and Punishment." In this story, a villain named the Grungebuster(An OC of mine) is completely trashing up Townsville, so it's up to the Powerpuffs to clean up his act. Can the girls stop this larcenous litterbug and withstand Bubbles' incredibly corny jokes? Please enjoy!

Grungebusters(Trashin' Their Reputations)

 

 

 

BTW, here is a picture of the Grungebuster. I tried to draw him in the style of some of the various background characters on the show.

 



Joke of the Week #72

Teacher: "Henry, please spell the word, 'Catapult' for us."

 

Henry: "K-A-T-T-A-P-U-L-L-T."

 

Teacher: "The dictionary spells it, 'C-A-T-A-P-U-L-T.'"

 

Henry: "But you didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it."

 

 

 

Music Showcase: I Hear Music by Peggy Lee

A very feel-good song by the legendary Peggy Lee, who's well known for her work on Disney's Lady and the Tramp. Please enjoy!

Joke of the Week #71

William Shakespeare was trying to write a new play, but unfortunately hadn't been feeling very inspired that day. He was puzzling over how to begin the next speech, when he suddenly looked down at his pencil. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "2B..."

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Uhm, Can't I Have a Serious Moment?

Here is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction of mine, which is based off of a Captain Caveman episode from the Flintstone Kids entitled, "I Was a Teenage Grownup." In this story, Mojo Jojo, being the ever-present party pooper that he is, uses his new invention, the Adultifier, to turn all of the kids of Townsville into super-serious mini-adults. When a stray laser from the Adultifier hits Bubbles, thus robbing her of her fun-loving persona, it's up to Blossom and Buttercup to save her and all of the other kids of Townsville, and put Mojo in his place. Please enjoy!

Don't Let's Be Silly

 

 

BTW, here is a picture of Dr. Cooper, an OC I added to this story; she's Townsville's local physician and was rather stumped at why the kids' personalities had changed so abruptly.

 



Joke of the Week #70

Goofy Greg is driving through the country when he sees a shepherd with his flock of sheep going by, He stops the car by the side of the road, walks up to the shepherd and says, "Say, if I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one, please?"

The shepherd replies, "Sure."

Greg ruminates for a second or two(Which for him was a record!) and says, "127."

The shepherd replies, "That's incredible! You're absolutely right! Go ahead and pick a sheep."

As Greg is putting his prize in the back of his car, the shepherd says, "Say, if I can guess your IQ level, can I have my dog back?"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

 

As the ever-quotable Garfield once said, "Yes...it's the dreaded glasses-on-the-forehead syndrome."