Sunday, September 29, 2013

Jokes of the Week #74: Daffynitions

Allegro: A lower limb grows longer.

Avowal: An A, E, I, O, or U, sometimes a Y.

Buckboard: An excellent price for lumber.
            Also, Buccaneer: An excellent price for corn.

Bulkhead: A massive hat.

Bumpkin: To nudge one's relative.

Calcium: What Cal said when he saw 'em.

Circumflex: A polite invitation for a friend to come and work out with you.

Condescend: The act of a crook lowering him/herself down on a rope.

Deduce: D'lowest card in d'deck.

Defense: It surrounds d'yard.

Denounce: D'words that describe d'objects.

Falsehood: 1. Someone who masquerades as a crook.
                    2. A fake hoodie.

Filmdom: The movie stinks.

Gangway: A bunch of people standing on a scale.

Implies: The little rotter is fibbing.
                Also, Implore: Stories about the little rotter.

Indistinct: Where people put dirty dishes.

Kinship: Your rich uncle's boat.

Knapsack: Another word for sleeping bag.

Notator: No sour cream or chives, either.

Observatory: What a colonial general might tell a scout to do.

Overbear: A better place to be than under one, albeit not by much.

Parrafins: What one might find on a fish's sides.

Plaintiff: A run-of-the mill spat.

Rampage: The part of the dictionary about male sheep.

Rattan: What a rat might get at the beach.

Tenure: Fiveure plus fiveure.

Uproar: The sound a flying lion might make.

Valorous: A big animal vis tusks; lives in ze vasser.

Vanguard: Someone who guards station wagons.

Versicle: 1. A frozen poem.
                2. A multi-talented icicle.

Washable: Something a ranchhand might do, but very carefully. ("Wash a bull.")

Whereto: Whereone plus whereone.
               Also, Wherefore: Whereto plus whereto.

Windjammer: Someone who spreads jam on their toast in a tornado.

Xerophyte: No spat.

Zealotry: What a tree seller would like to do.


From Nickelodeon Magazine.

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