Joke of the Week #87

An absent-minded professor calls his neighbor Henry on the phone. "Hello, Henry. Might I ask for a little help with something, please?"

"Sure," Henry replies. "How may I help you?"

"Well, I've just gotten a new jigsaw puzzle, but there are about a thousand pieces or so, and none of them seem to fit together. It's so confusing I don't know where to start."

"What's the picture of?" Henry inquires.

"A big toucan." the professor replies.

"Ill be over in just a second." Henry promises. When he arrives at the house, the professor leads him into the living room, over to a coffee table. After one look at the table, Henry says, "Gee, Professor Murphy, don't you think you should put the Froot Loops back in the box?"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Joke of the Week #16

An absent-minded professor and his equally absent-minded wife are watching TV one evening.

"Would you like some ice cream, dear?" he asks.

"Yes, please." she replies.

"What flavor would you like?"

"Strawberry, please. I'll write it down so you won't forget."

"Oh no, not necessary, dear. Strawberry ice cream should be easy enough to remember."

"But I'd also like marshmallow and rainbow sprinkles on it."

"How could I forget that?"

He goes into the kitchen; after a few minutes, he comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs.

"See?" she says. "I knew I should've written it down. You forgot the buttered toast."