Joke of the Week #44

A lady applies for a job at the zoo. When she arrives for the interview, the zoo manager informs her that the kangaroo had been shipped to another zoo, so he requests for her to dress up as a kangaroo in its place.

"But I can't jump like a kangaroo." she says.

"Don't worry," the manager replies. "We'll hide a trampoline behind some rocks."

The lady enjoyed her new job very much; each day, she drew a very large crowd. As the spectators cheered, she kept excitedly bouncing harder and harder, until one day, she accidentally bounced too hard and shot over the fence into the tiger's cage.

The tiger strides toward her, getting ready to pounce. The lady hurriedly backs away, "Help! Someone please! Help me!!"

The tiger growls, "Quiet, lady! You want us to lose both our jobs?"

Yet another little charmer.

Classic Cartoon Showcase: Snoopy:The Musical

A very nifty little musical Peanuts special, which was previously a Broadway musical. Please enjoy!
(BTW, a few must-hear songs are Linus' "The Vigil", Lucy's "I Know Now", Peppermint Patty's "Poor Sweet Baby", and Snoopy's "I'm Gonna Be the Big Bow-Wow.") :)
                                     
                                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bookstore: Tales For the Perfect Child by Florence Parry Heide

Well, nobody's perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

Don't let this book's title fool you, these kids are little monsters! (Literally and figuratively, even!

:-D) This collection of humorous, tongue-in-cheek short stories introduces us to such unforgettable characters as Ruby, whose mom asks her to watch her baby brother for her, and she watches as he wrecks everything in his path, Arthur, who dislikes the fancy outfit his mom insists that he wear, so he messes it up, Bertha, who wants to watch TV, but her mother would like her to go out and get some fresh air, so she hides her shoes, and Irving, who figures out a clever way to get out of going to a piano recital with his annoying cousin Irma. If you like monsters, you like funny books, and especially if you like funny books about monster kids, this is the book for you!

 

 Kids, don't try this at home! :-D

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!



 

Joke of the Week Extra: More Riddles

1. What's something that's close to your eyes, but difficult to see?

2. Where does Friday come before Thursday?

3. What never asks any questions, but is always answered?

4. A doctor's brother died. The man who died had no brothers. How is this possible?

5. A man eats eggs for breakfast every day. He never begs, borrows, or steals the eggs, there are no stores nearby, and he doesn't own any chickens. How does he get the eggs?

6. You have a bucket with three fish in it. How do you divide the fish among three sea lions so that each sea lion gets a fish, but there's still a fish left in the bucket?

7. What weighs nothing, but can fill a whole room?

8. Where in a room could someone put an octopus so that everyone could see it except them?

9. A scientist has invented a formula that can eat through any type of matter. However, she can't market it. Why?

10. A scientist has invented the world's most powerful glue. However, he can't test it. Why?

11. How could a person live for 80 years but only have 20 birthdays?

12. What's a word that people have been pronouncing wrong for years?

13. What has three feet but can't move?

14. What's always coming, but never actually gets here?(Hint: it's not the cable guy! :-D)

15. What animal eats and drinks with its tail?

16. You're walking down the street and you see a T. Rex standing on a newspaper. How could you get the newspaper safely?

17. What's something that belongs to you, but is used more by your friends?

18. How many cookies can you put in an empty jar?

19. A hamster, a camel, an elephant, a goose, and a ferret all gathered under and umbrella. Which one of them ended up getting wet?

20. Freida and Fiona are sisters. They were born on the same day, at the same time, in the same year, and yet they aren't twins. How is this possible?

(Answers below!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

1. Your nose.

 

2. In the dictionary.

 

3. The telephone.

 

4. The doctor was a woman.

 

5. He eats duck eggs.

 

6. Give fish to the first two sea lions, and the third sea lion gets the fish that's still in the bucket.

 

7. Smoke.

 

8. On top of their head.

 From Dominion Tank Police

See? It really works! :-D

 

 

9. There was nothing she could put the formula in.

 

10. He couldn't get the lid off of the jar.

 

11. If they were born on February 29.

 

12. "Wrong."

 

13. A yard.

 

14. Tomorrow; by time it gets here, it's today.

 

15. All of them. No animal removes its tail to eat or drink.

 

16. By waiting until he left.

 

17. Your name.

 

18. Only one. After that, the jar isn't empty anymore.

 

19. None of them. It didn't rain.

 

20. They were two of a set of triplets.

 

Slow and steady wins the race.

 



Funny Poem Showcase: There Was an Old Lady of France by Edward Lear

Okay, well...

Choose Your Own Powerpuff Adventure

 

The Powerpuff Girls Plus You series is a nifty little series of choose your own adventure books starring that ever-popular group of adorable little superheroes. Join Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup(with the occasional book starring Professor Utonium, The Mayor, Mojo Jojo, or Princess Morbucks) as they battle monsters, search for a missing circus elephant, explore a haunted house, fight crime under water, take on career day at their school, rush to stop a bad hair ray, try to stop the Gang Green Gang from stealing mind-reading juice, hurry to find the antidote for an opposite potion, and much more. If you like choose your own adventure books and you like the Powerpuff girls, these are the books for you!

 



 

Several of these books are availabe on Amazon*:

 







 

Career Day Blossom

 

Bubbles and the Opposite Potion

 

Buttercup and the Mind-Reading Juice

 

The Mayor's Birthday Surprise

 

Hide-And-Go Mojo

 

Bubbles in the Middle

 

Buttercup's Monster Challenge

 

Rainy Day Professor

 

Forever Blowing Bubbles

 

Not Another Buttercup

 

Blossom and the Haunted House

 

Buttercup, the Better Cop

 

Mojo Jojo's Secret Paper

 

Bubbles Saves the Circus

 

Blossom's Bad Hair Day

 

The Professor's Monkey Business

 

Bubbles' Butterfly Hunt

 

Diamonds are for Princess

 

Blossom vs. the Blasteroid

 

Professor Utonium's Dating Game

  

Bubbles in Storyland

 

Brand-New Blossom

 

Buttercup's Terrible Temper Tantrums

 

 

 

*There's another book in this series entitled, "Mojo Jojo's Day Off" which, regrettably, isn't currently available on Amazon, but does occasionally show up on ebay.

 



Jokes of the Week #43: Nothin' 'Bout These Jokes Makes Sense*

*Of course, how is that different from any other time? :-D

 

 

 

What did the girl cow say to the boy cow?

 

"Let's s-moo-ch!"

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Did you hear about the hair stylist who broke up with her boyfriend?

 

She gave him the brush-off.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A ferret goes in to the doctor and asks, "Is it possible for a ferret to be in love with an octopus?"

 

The doctor replies, "No, it's most certainly not possible."

 

"Well, okay," the ferret replies. "But, if I may ask, do you know anyone who wants to buy eight engagement rings?"

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Why didn't the girl mouse want to go out with the boy mouse?

 

Because his house was such a hole in the wall.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Why didn't the girl balloon want to go out with the boy balloon?

 

Because he was just full of hot air.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

What do you call two recently married spiders?

 

Newlywebs.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Eric: "Would you like to go out with me tonight?"

 

Nona: "I'm sorry, but I don't go out with perfect strangers."

 

Eric: "I never said that I was perfect."

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sophie: "Look at this fancy new pair of shoes I got for my boyfriend!"

 

Wendy: "Wow, that's quite a trade."

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did the bull sing to his girlfriend?

"When I fall in love, it will be for heifer..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And what did she sing back to him?

"You're irresista-bull..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Henry: "Well, I'll see you pretty soon."

 

Julie: "But why don't you think I'm pretty now?

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Did the fashion model stop dating the movie star?

 

Yes, he's out of the picture.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Boy alien: "Darling, you have the most beautiful brown eyes."

 

Girl alien: "Why don't you like my green eyes?"

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It's a lovely evening. Mark and Lisa are sitting on a hilltop, overlooking the city. Mark says, "Lisa Honey, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that any minute now, we'll see a beautiful full moon rising up over the hills."

 

"Oh sweetie, you're so romantic!" Lisa replies. "But, what's the bad news?"

 

"I'M A WEREWOLF AND THE FULL MOON DRIVES ME MAD! AUUUUUUUUGHHHH!!!"

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

How do snakes sign Valentines?

 

With hisses.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

 

 

A very Happy Valentine's Day to all! :-)

 

 



Bean Bag Animals for Sale!

Here are some handmade bean bag animals of mine, which are now on sale at our ebay store:

 

 

 

These also make good gifts for kids, adults, teenagers, fish, amphibians, inanimate objects...(Wait a second...didn't I just say that? Oh well...) Uhm, please enjoy the bean bag animals! :-D

 

 

 

You can buy them here!

 

 

Joke of the Week #42

Son: "Daddy, are there really such things as ghosts?"

Dad: "I'm not sure, son."

Son: "And can a monster really live under your bed?"

Dad: "Well, I just don't know, son."

Son: "Are mummies really bad?"

Dad: "Well, son, I just can't say."

Son: "Do vampires really bite people?"

Dad: "Well, son, I couldn't be sure."

Son: "Hope you don't mind my asking you all these questions, Daddy."

Dad: "Well, most certainly not, son! After all, how do you learn things if you don't ask?"

From Nickelodeon Magazine

Classic Cartoon Showcase: Popeye in We're on Our Way to Rio

In this nifty little classic, Popeye and Bluto take a vacation to Rio, where they both end up falling for samba dancer Olive. Hoping to ruin Popeye's chances with her, Bluto tells Olive that Popeye is a champion samba dancer.Can Popeye make good his dancing skills in time to stop Bluto? Please enjoy!(Fun Fact: This was the last Popeye cartoon made by Fleischer Studios.)

 

Say, Popeye and Olive are pretty good. Wouldn't they be great on Dancing With the Stars?(Honestly, they'd sure have my vote! :-D)

Classic Cartoon Showcase: Porky Pig in Pigs in a Polka

This humorous Looney Tunes classic relates the tale of the Three Little Pigs, set to classical music, with Porky Pig playing all three of the titular roles. (Like Garfield in this cartoon, he may have been hanging around with Goofy!) Please enjoy!

Teddy Bears for Sale!

Here are some handmade teddy bears of mine, which are now on sale at our ebay store:

 

 

 

 

These bears make good gifts for kids, adults, teenagers, farm animals, wild animals, fish, insects, birds, reptiles, amphibians, inanimate objects...(Bit too much? Little bit?) Uhm, please enjoy the bears! :-D

 

 

 

You can buy them here!

 

 

 



 

 

Joke of the Week #41

An anteater walks into a diner and seats himself at the counter. "Would you like a tuna sub?" the waitress inquires.

"No-o-o-o-o-o-o." the anteater replies.

"Would you like a grilled cheese?"

"No-o-o-o-o-o-o."

"Would you like a veggie burger?"

"No-o-o-o-o-o-o."

"Well, okay," the waitress replies. "But, if I may ask, why the long 'No's?'"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

 

 



Music Showcase:Just the Way I Am by Angel Faith

A nifty(and very danceable!) little song by pop singer Angel Faith, formerly of No Secrets. Please enjoy! (This is a good song to listen to while reading the fan fiction in the previous post, or watching this cartoon.)

Fan Fiction Showcase:Android Scam by Coyoteloon

This writer, who primarily writes My Life as a Teenage Robot fan fictions, has a very good writing style, just about on par with the show. (Honestly, if there were a "Should Be a Scriptwriter for My Life as a Teenage Robot" award, he'd win it in a heartbeat!) This is his first story, which sets up future storylines; in this very clever fanfic, Jenny meets new student Andrew "Drew" Nabholtz(an OC who'll appear in later stories), and they become fast friends. Eventually, the Cluster attacks, and it's up to Drew and Jenny to save the day! Please enjoy!

You can read it here!