"I didn't want it to fall on the floor again, sir."
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"Do you serve fish here?"
"Yes, we do."
"Then could you bring some fish flakes for my koi?"
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"Waiter, how long will my cheese sub be?"
"Oh, about eight inches."
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"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, hop into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!"
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What's thin, salty, and romantic?
Chips that pass in the night.
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Hannah and her friends are hanging out after school, chatting about their favorite places to eat a hamburger. Ben says he likes a picnic table at the park, Danny likes a bench at the local fair, and Erin likes a table at the beach. Erin then turns to Hannah and asks, "Where's your favorite place to eat a hamburger?"
Hannah says, "In my mouth."
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How do you turn a pie into a vegetable?
Toss it into the air and it comes down SQUASH!
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In ancient Greece, there was a cyclops named Pete who was feared by everyone. One look from his eye could zap someone. Everyone in Greece was warned to beware Pete's zap eye.
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"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Looks like the backstroke, ma'am."
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"Waiter, there's a fly in my ice cream!"
"Serves him right. Let him freeze!"
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"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Looks like he's playing water polo, sir."
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"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Actually, the chef's a witch doctor, and that's what's left of our last customer."
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"Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!"
"Sorry, sir, but we can't always guarantee you'll always get a living one."
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"Waiter, there's a dead moth in my soup!"
"It's the heat that kills them, ma'am."
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"Waiter, there's a dead ant in my soup!"
"Yes, they're not very good swimmers."
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"Yesterday there was no fly in my soup, but today there is one!"
"Yes, we're a fly-by-night operation."
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A dopey guy goes into a pizza parlor and orders a pizza. The guy behind the counter asks, "Would you like it cut into six slices or twelve?"
The guy says, "Six. I could never eat twelve slices."
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A grizzly bear goes into a restaurant and says, "I'd like a burger, french fries and a......soda."
The guy behind the counter says, "Why the big pause?"
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A guy goes into an Italian restaurant and says to the waiter, "Give me an order of lasagna before the trouble starts."
The waiter brings him the lasagna and he eats it, then says, "Give me a slice of pizza before the trouble starts."
The waiter brings him the pizza and he eats it, then says, "Quick, bring me an order of spaghetti! The trouble's going to start at any minute now."
The waiter says, "Excuse me, sir, but when is all this trouble supposed to start?"
The guy says, "The trouble starts as soon as you find out I don't have any money."
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A frog goes into a restaurant and orders soup. After the waiter seves him, he yells, "Hey, waiter! There's no fly in my soup!"
From Nickelodeon Magazine.
Well, you certainly can't accuse them of false advertising!
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