Monday, December 24, 2012

Jokes of the Week #36:Happy Holiday Humor

Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Insanity.

Insanity who?

Do you believe Insanity Claus?

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Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Santa Ana.

Santa Ana who?

Santa Ana gonna bring you anything if you don't believe in him!

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What's Tarzan's favorite Christmas song?

"Jungle Bells."

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Can Santa's reindeer see well in a blizzard?

Yes, they have excellent ice-sight.

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What does a Christmas tree eat with?

Utinsels.

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What did one piece of toast say to the other piece of toast on Christmas?

"'Tis the season to be jelly."

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Where does Santa go swimming?

At the North Pool.

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Who was Ebeneezer Scrooge?

The Wizard of Bahs.

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Who says, "Ho, Ho, Ho", and goes crashing down the chimney?

Santa Klutz.

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What does Ebeneezer Scrooge wear to play ice hockey?

Cheap skates.

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What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with Chowder?

A jolly old elf that stuffs your stockings and empties your fridge.

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What does Ebeneezer Scrooge do when it's cold out?

Sits by a candle.

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What does he do when it's really cold out?

He lights it.

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What do the Ninja Turtles do on Christmas?

They shellabrate.

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What do you get if you cross a bunny with a white bear?

A polar hare.

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The game show was coming down to the wire. Joe was closing in on the prize, and the final question, worth 500 points, was about to be asked. Joe waits nervously, as the host motions toward a large screen, upon which the final question appeared: "Name two of Santa's reindeer." Relieved that he had gotten such an easy question, Joe answers, "Rudolph!..." he hesitates for all of a second. "...And Olive!"

The audience cheers and applauds, then cut themselves off sharply, and start mumbling amongst each other. The host walks up to Joe. "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but would you mind explaining Olive, please?" he inquires.

Joe replies, "Well, you know, 'Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

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What kind of paste do they use at the North Pole?

Igloo.

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From Nickelodeon magazine.
 
A very Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! :)

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