(These are actually last week's jokes, but it's okay; I've kept them in the fridge, so, hopefully they won't be any more stale than usual. :-D)
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's girlfriend drive?
A Minnie-van.
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What would you call Superman if he lost his superpowers?
Man.
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Why was Elvis so cool?
Because he had a lot of fans.
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A little-known fact:
Mary Poppins used to be a fortune teller on the west coast. The interesting thing about this was, rather than reading people's palms or reading tea leaves, she could predict their future simply by smelling their breath. The sign on the door of her shop read, "Super California Mystic, Expert Halitosis."
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How many ears does Mr. Spock have?
Three. His left ear, his right ear, and "The Final Front Ear."
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What do you get if you cross Kirby with Atilla the Hun?
Atilla the Hungry!
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What do you call a Pokemon with a cold?
A Pik-achoo!
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Frankie: "Say, did you know that I once sang for the Queen of England?"
Becky: "No kidding, really?"
Frankie: "Well...that's what she told me, anyway. She said, 'If you're a singer, then I'm the Queen of England.'"
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Who eats spinach and makes clothes?
Popeye the Tailorman.
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What tree knows Kung Fu?
Spruce Lee.
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Who lives in a pod and practices Kung Fu?
Bruce Pea.
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What movie features classical music and Dumbo dancing?
Elephantasia.
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What movie features Remy practicing Kung Fu?
The Ka-Ratty Kid.
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What do you get if you cross a small bear with a skunk?
Winnie the Pee-Yew!
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What's the closest thing to silver?
The Lone Ranger's bum.
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What movie features a dinosaur park and Lassie?
Jurassic Bark.
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What do you get if you cross Chowder with William Shakespeare?
A bard who says, "To eat or not to eat?"
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What video game features monsters, a scary medieval castle, and Fat Albert?
Shadowgut.
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What did Huey, Dewey, and Louie say when they saw something flying toward their uncle's head?
"Donald, duck!"
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What to you get if you cross a famous hockey player with a Sea-Doo?
Wayne Jet-Ski.
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"Can you tell me the location of every phone booth in the city, please?" the voice on the phone asks.
"I'm sorry," the operator replies. "We can't give out that information."
"You can't?" the voice replies sadly.
"Sorry, no." the operator replies. "Why is this information so important to you?"
"Because I'm Superman and my pants are in one of those phone booths."
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Who grants wishes for Cinderella cow?
Her Dairy Godmother.
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Here's one, now all we need is 100 more. :-D
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