Toobin'

Here is an Ultimate Muscle fanfiction of mine, which is based on these two cartoons. In the story, Kid Muscle volunteers to help clean Roxanne's yard in exchange for a piece of the delicious cake she's baking; unfortunately, however, he's met with resistance by a stubborn innertube with a mind of its own that just doesn't want to be pulled up! Please enjoy!

 

 

Innertube With Destiny

Jokes of the Week #69: We STILL Don't Need No Education

English Teacher: "Marvin, I'd like for you to give me a sentence beginning with "I."

Marvin: "'I is...'"

English Teacher: "No Marvin, you must always say, 'I am.'"

Marvin: "Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'"

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History Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me what Camelot was?"

Lizzy: "A place to park camels."

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Did you hear about the three math teachers who went out for pizza but were divided over whether or not to add extra cheese?

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Sammy: "Say Mom, I just learned five new letters in scholl today!"

Mom: "Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! What were the letters?"

Sammy: "F-L-U-N-K."

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Teacher: "If I bought 100 doughnuts for one dollar, what would each one be?"

Nona: "Stale."

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Teacher: "Did you know that the bell just went, Mikey?"

Mikey: "Well, I don't know where it went to, but I sure didn't take it."

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Mom: "Did you get a good place in the geography test, Jeffrey Dear?"

Jeffrey: Yes, I sat next to the smartest kid in the class."

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When Edith's mother came home, she was surprised to see her daughter sitting on a giraffe's back, writing something. "Sweetie, what are you doing up there?" she inquired.

"Well you see," Edith replied. "The teacher wanted us to write an essay on our favorite animal."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is?"

Jane: "Lassie!"

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Walter's Father: "I want to take my son out of this terrible math class!"

Principal: "But sir, he's at the top of the class."

Walter's Father: "Yes, and that's how I know that this must be a terrible class."

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Why can you always believe everything bearded teachers tell you?

Because they can't tell bald-faced lies.

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Teacher: "I hope I didn't see you copying off of Gertie's paper, Laura."

Laura: "I hope you didn't either."

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Teacher: "Now Dora, if you had two pieces of chocolate and your sister had five, and you asked her for one, how many pieces of chocolate would you have?"

Dora: "Two."

Teacher: "You don't know math."

Dora: You don't know my sister."

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Teacher: "I wish that everyone would pay a little attention."

Ryan: "We're all paying as little attention as we can, ma'am."

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Science Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me whether heat or cold travels faster?"

Frankie: "Heat, because people can catch colds."

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Teacher: "Why didn't you stand at the end of the line like I asked you to, Flo?"

Flo: "I tried, but there was someone already there."

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The art teacher happens up to Harold, who's standing in front of a blank sheet of paper.

Art Teacher: "What's this a picture of, Harold Dear?"

Harold: "A cow eating grass."

Art Teacher: "But where's the grass?"

Harold: "The cow ate it."

Art Teacher: "Where's the cow?"

Harold: "Well, he's not going to hang around without any grass left to eat."

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Teacher: "Why haven't you been coming to school for the past few weeks, Dale?"

Dale: "It's not my fault, Miss Greyson, whenever I try to cross the street there's a guy standing there with a sign saying, 'STOP CHILDREN CROSSING.'"

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How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just leave the room dark and show a film strip.

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Jessie: "I thought you knew the answer to that question, Brad. Why didn't you tell the teacher?"

Brad: "Oh, but I did, I shook my head."

Jessie: "Well, you wouldn't expect her to hear it rattling from here, would you?"

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The art teacher assigned each member of her class to paint a self portrait. When Ashley handed hers in, the teacher took one look and said, "But Ashley, this isn't a picture of you."

"Yes," Ashley replied. "It's a self portrait of someone else."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me the name of a bird that doesn't build its own nest?"

Paul: "The cuckoo."

Teacher: "That's absolutely right, Paul! How did you know that?"

Paul: "Easy, Miss Warren, everyone knows cuckoos live in clocks."

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Teacher: "Are you good at arithmetic, Davis?"

Davis: "Well, yes and no."

Teacher: "How do you mean, 'Yes and no?'"

Davis: "Yes, I'm no good at arithmetic."

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Teacher: "Now class, can anyone tell me which family the octopus belongs to?"

Marcia: "No one's I know."

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Dad: "This is the worst report card ever. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Carl: "Look on the bright side, Dad. At least you can be sure that I'm not cheating."

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Lois got up in front of her class and read her book report aloud. After she was finished, her teacher said, "That was very good, Lois; I especially appreciate you not giving away the ending."

"Well," Lois replied. "I thought that if they'd wanted to know the ending, they'd do what I did and rent the DVD."

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Arthur: "Mom, I can't go back to that school. The teachers keep getting on my case and the kids won't stop teasing me. Why should I go back?"

Arthur's Mom: "First of all, you're 45 years old, and second, you're the principal!"

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It's a Monster's Life

 



Here is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction of mine, which is based off of a Captain Caveman episode from the Flintstone Kids TV series entitled, "Attack of the 50-Foot Teenage Lizard." In this story, a gentle little boy monster named Timmy is expected by his parents to smash a city, which he doesn't want to do; fortunately, with the Powerpuffs' help, he finds a way to make his parents proud without hurting anyone. Please enjoy!

 

 

It's Not Easy Being a Monster

 

 

BTW, here are a few pictures of the story's characters:

 

 

Timmy, the friendly little boy monster who doesn't want to hurt anyone. His appearance is loosely based off of those of Billy, the kid monster from the original Captain Caveman episode.

 

 

And Timmy's family, whose appearances are based loosely off of those of Billy's family. Papa Monster is rather gruff, but has a gentle side, Mama Monster is pleasant and accomodating, and Timmy's little sis Dolores is somewhat moody, but can be sweet(She takes after her father that way).

 

 

 







Just for fun, I've also added a picture of Blossom, who's ended up wearing a clown suit after Timmy drops a costume shop on her(Much to her sisters' amusement).

 

 

Music Showcase: That Old Black Magic by Spike Jones

Spike Jones murders yet another classic with his rendition of "That Old Black Magic," set to an episode of The Raccoons, which somehow makes the song even more ridiculous! Please enjoy!

Joke of the Week #68

Sitcom Star: "I say, have you seen my show?"

Neighbor: "Yes, I've seen you on and off."

Sitcom Star: "And how did you like me?"

Neighbor: "Off."

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

Funny Poem Showcase: There Was an Old Man of Kamschatka by Edward Lear

That's th' second fattest dog ah ever saw! :-D

Joke of the Week #67

Dopey Dan: "Say Gus, did you mark the spot where the fishing was so good?"

Goofy Gus: "Duh, yeah! I painted a 'X' on the side of the boat."

Dopey Dan: "Oh, that's ridiculous! I can't believe you'd be so stupid! What if we take another boat next time?!"

From Nickelodeon Magazine.

 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bookstore: Orangutan Tongs by Jon Agee

A mouthful of mush.

 

 

This very humorous book of tongue-twisting poems by the Palindrome King himself contains such profundities as the situation of an orangutan who has trouble eating his meal at a restaurant, the kind of noise that annoys a noisy oyster, the triumphs of a bubble gum blowing champ, the disadvantages of getting on the bad side of either an overeager ogre or a surly soldier, the things that a dodo'll do, the ways of a club for people who only use purple paper, and the unfortunate breakup between Patty Petty and Pete. If you like wacky poems, you like tongue twisters, and especially if you like wacky tongue-twisting poems, this is the book for you!

 

 

Here are a couple of my faves:

She can read readin' when it's writ', but she can't read writin' now that it's wrote! :-D

 

Some moose like Moose Munch and Moose Tracks ice cream.

 

 

 

 

Buy it on Amazon!

 

 

 

 

Joke of the Week #66

 

There once was a dog named Towser who ran a very popular pizza parlor in the heart of a city. What made his pizzas so popular, incidentally, was the way he made them; he'd build the crusts up high, and make them lean to one side before baking them. Everyone would come from miles around to see the Leaning Pizzas of Towser.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Happy Tenth Anniversary, Jenny!

Go Jenny Jenny!

 

 

Today marks the tenth anniversary of My Life as a Teenage Robot. Yes, ten years ago today, a certain blue robot girl began battling aliens, rescuing people, saving the world, and entertaining her fans for the very first time! Happy Anniversary, Jen! Here's to ten more great years.